I knew it what I sent her could cause a negative reaction, I did it for me because I thought it was the right thing to do on my anniversary. If she wants to leave she'll do it and if she wants to use a message like that to add fuel to her fire that is her problem.
Goal wise, I have a bunch for myself, have to dig them up and see where I'm at with making progress with them. I just mentioned the ones that applied to my wife. Finally got the lawn mower fixed, after 3 days of trying to drill out a bolt with a broken off drill bit in it, I accidentally broke off the whole piece of aluminum that had the broken off bolt in it, so I said screw it and put it all back together with 2 out of 3 bolts holding that particular spinning 21" blade on it (ya, risky, that is why I tried so hard to get the stupid broken off bolt off out). S15 helped me work on it, he said he learned a lot, like what helicoils are and how to sharpen blades and to not break drill bits off inside of bolts... LOL! He mowed the back lawn for me, mower is working better, but still not 100%.
Before the mower work S15 went to church with my this morning, then we had lunch together, then came home for part 1 of mower work, which included visiting 7 stores looking for helicoils and bolts. We had to stop working on the mower to go meet 2 of my co-workers for 9 holes of golf. That was fun, think I only lost 3 golf balls and maybe hit 2 houses, but it was only 9 holes. S13 drove the golf cart with me and S15 in it while S15 and I golfed. S13 was playing around with the female co-worker that was golfing with us (I think he has a crush on her, the two of them are always playing around at the office too) and he ran into her with the cart, bashed her in the shoulder, she wasn't happy about it, plus S13's attitude about it all didn't help. Later on the other male co-worker's daughter who was driving the female co-worker's golf cart around swirved so hard that the female co-worker flew out of the cart on to her head. She laid on the ground for a bit, not sure how hard she hit her head, luckily it was the last hole, but lots of excitment and fun in only 9 holes...
No contact initiated from my wife today, she called both S13 and S15 while we were on the way to go golfing. I sent her a goodnight txt msg late tonight and got response of "C u in am", she has to get up at 4am for her flight here in the morning.
D23 called me and I missed her call, we've been playing phone tag for almost a week. I finally talked to her late tonight and she is still avoiding talking to her mom, can't believe that her mom is complaining about having to pay $160/mo for her health insurance, yet my wife can spend who knows, $8,000-$10,000 for her 55 yr old sister to enlarge her breasts. My daughter apparently told my wife that exactly and my wife didn't seem to like it too much. D23 also said that her cousin (daughter of my wife's 55 yr old sister) who is 30 yrs old is tired of my wife calling her to try to get her to go clubbing with her, apparently the cousin's friends go to some of the clubs that my wife is trying to get her to go to and the cousin doesn't want to be seen with her 51 yr old aunt or something. I really don't need to hear about any of it, but it doesn't really seem to matter to me anymore, that part is nice. I really don't want to know and my wife seems all too good and telling me nothing of what she is doing so that is working good.
D23 was talking about how she'll help me clean the house and take care of the kids when she comes here in August to start college, but she doesn't want to be here when my wife is here so she'll be going back to where she lives now to work and to avoid her mother. I don't know how I'm going going to deal with my wife not wanting D23 to live here and my wife's threats of moving all of "her stuff out with a uhaul truck" if D23 is going to live here since D23 will trash everything and go thru all her stuff. My first inclination is let D23 move in and my wife can do whatever she feels she needs to do, but I don't want to do anything stupid to harm my ability to rebuild our marriage. Maybe it'll drive her off, maybe it'll cause her to respect me, don't know, guess we'll find out soon when I figure out what I'm going to do.
S15 has been trying to tell me something for a couple days now, he finally worked up the nerve tonight. I did get out of him earlier at lunch that our family wasn't invited to his GF's house anymore for their 4th of July BBQ and that his GF is grounded. Well he finally told me what happened, he says that the night I took my mom to the resort town overnight his GF came over, plus 2 other kids and they all got drunk at my house drinking beer. The other kids brought the beer and 2 of the 3 other kids crashed on the floor overnight. His GF's parents have forbid him and his GF from having any contact now and she is grounded for sometime I guess. The other 2 kids are also in trouble with their parents and my son has been agonizing over not being able to tell me what happened for a couple days now. He wanted to get it out but didn't know how to tell me. He says he understands that I won't trust him and he will do anything to rebuild it. He says that he drank just to see what it was like, unlike some of the other kids who did it because they wanted to escape their lives. He says no one drove anywhere and he learned his lesson and especially doesn't want to do something that will come between us and that destroys the trust I have in him. He will accept whatever punishment he gets and do his best to be trustworthy again. I'm certainly glad he told me and that I didn't find out from someone else, that was a big step for him to face up to what he'd done. We talked about drinking and drugs and also his GF, he says he wants nothing to do with drugs and that he won't "do anything" with his GF. I told him that drinking and also drug are things that cause people to do things that they thought they wouldn't or that they didn't plan to do or even remember doing. Losing control of your actions isn't something I want and hope he understand as well. I told him that I appreciated him telling me and I'd let him know what punishment I decide on, he hugged me and said he never wanted to do something again that he didn't want to tell me, that it had been hard on him having this on his mind constantly for the last couple days. I asked him if he was going to tell his mom or if he wanted me to do it. He said he hadn't even thought about that, he didn't know. I told him that she needs to know and he mentioned that she'd said something to him before that "she new he would do something like this" but he finally after a bit of thinking told me "if I don't tell her by Tuesday night then you'll have to do it." I told him Monday would be better and that she'd be wondering pretty quickly that his GF wasn't around that he didn't need to start lying about that in order to cover this up, that would just add to the problem. I'm certainly relieved that what he told me wasn't something "worse" like "my GF is pregnant" which is my worst fear. I watched my BF in high school do that to himself and his GF and luckily that taught me a hard lesson at someone else's expense.
Well lot of crap to still do around the house, laundry is piling up, haven't really done much to prepare for my wife showing up in the morning, the lawn being finished was a big one, weeds all over still tho'. My mom did a lot to help me last week so things are too bad around here, I don't need to have my wife show up with her "white glove on" and do another barracks inspections tho', might just tell her where to stick that white glove for an inspection if she starts that crap...
Have no idea what she'll be like, she is all nice and friendly on the phone, but has cut back her contact with me more and more. From what my daughter says my wife doesn't seem to be acting like she is married or wants to be married so I plan on doing my best to stay out of her face, do my own thing and leave her room if she wants to tag along. Other than the baseball game on Tuesday night and whatever we decided to do on the 4th, I don't have any plans to spend a bunch of time with her, luckily I have to work the rest of the week so that'll give me less time to deal with her being here physically but not here emotionally or mentally, that is hard to deal with and the less I have to the better I seem to feel. If she was still in "work on the marriage" mode I'd be looking forward to time with her, but at this point I think I'd just as much assume go somewhere else for the week, a sad way to feel about the woman I love, the mother of my kids, my wife of 17 yrs, 1 day.
