Madonna/Whore Complex - Part 6

[Heywyre]

I think BB sees other people come before her. But that is the way I earn a paycheck.

I see this as a common problem with couples but the difference is you do it as a job, to earn money (we kinda need that) he was doing it to satisfy his own needs and leaving me behind, not to mention the THOUSANDS of dollars he spent, not earned.

What am I getting out of this? A lot !! Really I am. The ST is also addressing a lot of my issues, because it is never one-sided. There might be a reason why H subconsciously picks the women he does, but I have also chosen him for reasons of my own. That alone has taken me through a lot of emotion, having to go back to my own childhood fears, hurts etc. and work my way through them also. No one is immune to the child inside that is reaching out to be healed and comforted.

He is also helping me through the emotions I am feeling about having to put myself out there sexually and giving me tips as to how to go about it. I know I am going to have a whole heck of a lot of very unpleasant visions running through my head when we get to that point and it scares the beejeepers out of me but I also know each time I will have to take it one step further work my way through it.

This is going to be a remarkable journey
Yes it is, even on this side of the computer screen.

I am glad I can be entertaining to you - lol

Another thing we went over today was talking about trust. ST asked H what he thought it would take to prove to me he could be trusted. H said "time, a lot of it, maybe 5 or 10 years" - so he is well aware that he is in this for the longhaul