Stillme & the Plan

[stillme]

So, in the interest of the Experiment:

H pops over unannounced/unplanned (again) this a.m. shortly after I got home from church and when I ask the kids what's up they say H is here to wash the carS! Huh?! (Remember S told me yest. that they couldn't go to church w/me this morn. b/c 'Daddy says we're going to be busy today'. What? -Busy washing my CAR?? Also, my car has been consistently clean - and H must surely have noticed this [thanks to the free car-wash coupons I got at the gym!] so there's been no need for him to take care of it as was his 'usual' H-job.)

Not 5min. after H gets there, BFF calls from her car as she's parking it at the curb & says, "J, what the heck is going on?! I get here & H is stripped down washing his car in your driveway??" I tell her just get in the house & I'll explain. She gets out of her car, says Hello to H & he gives her a nice long hug & asks how she's been. I'm out on the walkway then (wearing my new jeans that fit, heels & sparkly necklace), hug her myself & we go inside (w/NO notice taken of H). After a private convo I tell her we need to leave NOW (before H starts washing MY car) & we go.

Before we go, D has a meltdown b/c she wanted me to stay & play w/her. I told her I didn't know she was coming by & I already had plans to go out w/BFF. We talked about love & secret-kisses & I promised to call her later in the day. Also had S pull his M'Day coupon tacked ot the corkboard at my desk that said "Chair [sic] Up J" & told him I was cashing it in. So, w/S now D's to command, BFF & I left. BFF gave H another hug g'bye (I didn't acknowledge him at all) & we pulled away. Got to the end of hte street & realized she'd forgotten the CD she wanted me to hear, so we turned around & as I was waiting for her to get it from her car, H comes to my window & says "D is all upset that you're leaving." "I know. We talked. I told her I didn't know she was coming by this morning --" He was quick to say "I know -" but I cut him off any poss. explanation he might have been going for & finished " - & S said he would play w/her & cheer her up. She'll be fine." THEN we were able to leave.

So I called the kids while BFF & I were driving home from the mall & S volunteers "Daddy has a new car!" [turns out he got the Co.car he's been saying for the past year that he WOULDN'T get] and when D got on the phone she said they were eating wings at Gators. (I ALWAYS know what they're doing, where they're at, & who they're w/ -- and I never ask a thing!) She tried getting me to tell what BFF & I had done today, but I played silly & said "None ya' business, nosey-posey". When she asked "Do you want to talk to Daddy now?" I said "No, thanks. I have to go now, but I loooovvvve you!"

Brought BFF up to speed on the sitch, and The Plan and she agrees esp as I've explained H's reactions for the past few days.

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So I understand the reservations about Homer's advice. I don't agree w100% of it myself but, as with anything, am pickig & choosing what I think is best or most relevant for my sitch/our characters etc. ALOT of it is parallel-DBing (tho not expressed as well); SOME of it is surely worded pretty badly, or not explained well AT ALL; his writing & reasoning is convoluted & unclear and, well, exactly what you would expect from a 70-something y.o. man pontificating -- but much of it is good. I'll try to get some good notes together to post if anyone's interested to show what I mean.