Just walked in the house & have to leave again right away. Wanted to get back to you now, rather than later tho b/c us LBS have to exercise so much patience w/ everything else, it's nice to get something kinda soon, no?
I'll skip to your last post re; 50% of the house. I've been on both sides of the financial standing also. I'm the only one I know that not only supported my XH (young surfer /;-), but had to scratch a nice check afterwards. In his defense, however, he could have gotten much more. So, here's my take; don't combine your emotions w/ the D settlement if it comes to that. Always be fair though, b/c at the end of the day you want to have your integrity intact. Don't sign anything ahead of time & know that you don't have to come to an agreement before the D. It's a separate issue. It doesn't really matter how your W takes title, b/c she can always change it later anyway. Just take your time & see how things unfold & think it through.
On the other issues;
"Like Michele says, you can fall in love w/ someone & out & in that your W might be sneaking peaks."
What I mean by that, is that there was a lot of damage done in the R. It seems that she is doing tiny things to "inch closer", but is still threatened right now. We, o/c never know if it will be mended enough, so all we can do its try & be patient.
"The OM appears to be a "buddy" type, comfort for her right now & more than likely won't be a long term R (IMO)."
I don't care that she's set up house w/him, doesn't matter. Whenever you attach to someone for security reasons it doesn't portend a strong & lenghty R to me.
"As far as satisfying her LL, think of ways to do it sideways so you don't scare her off."
What I mean is to tread lightly, delivering the message in a non direct/accidental looking way instead of straight at her. You can do this in a number of ways. An example would be the way you complemented her in an earlier thread. Subtle & take it slow.
I would leave the financial out of it as long as possible, if you can. That stuff almost never brings up the positives.
I don't know if you can use any of that, hopefully some.
