So thursday night, my wife and I sat around drinking some good beer and talking about the parenting split. We also talked about what furniture to move over to the rental house. Maybe it was the beer, but this was actually painless, and my wife and I laughed a lot, and worked thruogh it. Afterwards she came downstairs and we were talking, and she sat down in front of me, and I asked her if she wanted her shoulders rubbed. She leaned back and I ended up giving her a massage. I know she enjoyed it, and i enjoyed giving her one. We were both kind of drunk so it didn't feel awkward.
Friday afternoon, was a little hectic, so not much interaction with my wife. Then i went out friday night with friends, and had a great time. Didn't think about my situation at all.
Then Saturday, my wife had plans to go out. All day she was basically hanging around waiting to go. She left the house at 3:30 to see OM. And she came home this morning around 10:30AM. I didn't sleep well at all. None of this is new, so i'm suprised it still hurts so much. I woke up at 5am, 5:20am, 5:35am, then basically rolled around until 7:30 when i finally got up.
My girls had swimming lessons, so I got them ready early, and got them out of the house before my wife came home since i wasn't really in the mood or mindset to interact with my wife. Took them to swimming, and just brought them home so my wife could take them to a friends kids birthday party. She asked me if I wanted to go, and i declined and told them to have fun.
I don't know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to let go, part of me wants to fight harder. I guess i just need to let go. She is throwing her heart at the OM, and i'm afraid there is nothing I can do.
I'm not sure how to interact with her tonight. I am definately feeling hurt, so PMA is out the window. I need to go have some fun while they are out of the house I guess.
