Well H just called. Is coming over within the hour to do some of his company stuff in the garage.... I miss him but I don't know that I'm looking foward to this. Cause it's always the same. He doesn't really talk to me and barely looks at me. The kids is another story which is good for them. Just hurts to see him act the way he is toward me. Doesn't understand how you can turn feelings off after 11 years of being together....
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Well my H made a frame out of the clear blue yesterday that had a couples name on it and then a saying that said something like when I look into your eyes I see forever in them. Very sweet. Made it really for no reason other then he claims to put it on his website. ( it was given to our neighbor for the people she had requested another frame for)
So keeping in mind there is no OW and this was HIS decision I'm a little confused. Because at this point he kinda has a cynical attitude about love and relationships. Now I'm really not trying to read into everything he does or says. But.... could this be a step in my direction? No the frame wasn't for me or us but come on who in that state of mind would willingly make something like that? So far it's not on his website and since he's left he has had no desire to mess with his website or company for that matter.
Michele talks about not missing the small steps just not sure if this is him playing mind games or trying to get a reaction out of me or if it simply was him making a frame. So far I haven't had anyone tell me it's just simply a frame. They think there's more behind it and that since it's still early in the split (almost 2 months) I just need to sit back and be patient. Which I'm doing. That right now even if he were admitting to himself he wants to come back it's too soon yet.
Any thoughts?
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Okay so I get not talking to your spouse about R or M but what if they are the ones to start a conversation about it? How do you respond? Do you talk or say I'm not talking about this now?
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Well I received an email today saying I didn't get the job I interviewed for on Friday. Needless to say I'm disappointed but I'll keep trying. I have no choice.
For about a week now I've been doing the going dark and some 180's. Well Sunday my H emailed me about his first son (had nothing whatsoever to do with me). Then yesterday he emailed me a couple times. Nothing about coming home or anything THAT good but maybe small steps. I at least am getting the impression that he is thinking. Which is a very good thing. Maybe he'll realize he wants to be home with his family. Not that I expect that tomorrow but it's nice to know that just maybe he's having some doubts.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Okay so I get not talking to your spouse about R or M but what if they are the ones to start a conversation about it? How do you respond? Do you talk or say I'm not talking about this now?
You just want to validate (acknowledge) what they are saying. Doesn't mean that you agree, but you have to let them know you hear what they are saying and you understand their point of view.
You have to be real careful not to let the conversation progress into an argumentative state. Try to keep your emotions in check no matter how much he tries to re-write your history together or paint you in a bad light. Steer the conversation in another direction if that starts to happen.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I don't like the dance of back and forth. Since Sunday my H has been contacting just talking. Now today nothing. He called the kids while ago talked for about a minute each. Sounded up beat and everything. Trying not to wonder what he's doing but sometimes can't help it.
I'm trying to have fun with my kids and enjoy the day. I'm having alot of down moments today though. Just wish I could have my whole family back.
Argg... Just needed to let it out.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Well this is a good place to let it out, so do so whenever you need. You said you have the kids, so go out, have fun and enjoy the time with them. Don't worry about what he is doing, I know it is hard, I am having same problem, wife is out of town and haven't heard a peep in 5 days, but she has our son, so it really is rough today.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Yeah they're out playing in the small pool. Glad they're at least having fun. I was wishing he'd at least miss being with his family today. Didn't really sound like it on the phone.
I just need to get over it. This is what he does. He'll talk to me for a week then decide or we shouldn't be doing this and stop. Then he'll at some point be back to talking.
Yesterday when we were emailing he said it was weird to be typing to me on the other hand he was used to it on the other hand... I said you sound confused. He said why because for 11 years I was used to you and now I'm not supposed to be used to you. Last couple days when he's talked I had the impression that he really is confused and isn't sure that he wants to leave his family for good. That he was thinking. Just hate the quiet times.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
