Cades, thanks for the prayers, you all are constantly in mine. I do understand she has free will and it is up to us to try our best to live within Gods will. Divorce IMO is not God's will for any of us, but there is that free will thing again. We have been going againest God's will from the time that Eve pulled the fruit off the tree. Not to put the blame on Eve where was Adam. He was told to protect the Garden from the beast of the field, which he did not and then he left his W alone with the serpent.
Journaling: Yesterday morning I went golfing again, I have never golfed so much in my life. I went with my Dad and Brother and shot alright. I am hoping by the end of the summer I can consistenly get below 90, hasn't happened yet. My short game has been good but I cannot hit my drivers at all. I think I still have to much of a baseball swing when I pull out my driver. After golf I went home workedout and washed my car and my W car. In the late afternoon we all went to my cousins house for a summer party. Our girls had a blast with their cousins and it was nice for me to be around family. Besides my parents and brother only one cousin and his W know about what all is going on. I think my cousin is a little upset that I haven't told anybody else yet, but he was for the most supportive. My W has told me that she does not want to give up my family, she has been around for over 10 years does not want to give them up. Well she choose this route and if/when I get serious with someone else she is going to be told not to come around my family anymore.
At the party we both did our own things and not a whole lot of interaction, but since it was so busy nobody noticed anything was up. Actually my mom said if she did not know any better we looked like a happy family. Well we are not and my W is about to destroy my kids.
My cousins W did talk to my W and she asked her is there anyway your M can be saved. My W's answer was that it would have to be a miracle from God, kind like having mana fall from the sky.
All in all it was great that I was able to spend the day with my girls on my W's weekend. I am just trying to make the most out of the time that I have with them. Today, I am about to go to church and then I am going to get another round of golf in. Tomorrow, we go to counseling again and then I have softball after that. I also am going to get my girls on the 4th of July. Since I had the girls on memorial day my W was going to get them for the 4th, now she has to work. Again the more time that I get them the better. I love every moment that I get.
