You have no idea, WII (or, maybe you do) how f...ing frustrated I am. C'mon, I'm thinking of doing a freaking powerpoint presentation to try and get my message across to my H, for pity's sake (guess that says I still have a plan, uh?!). Agh! Yeah, we MP's are real bulldogs. Sometimes, I just wish I can let go of this M, but 21 years is a helluva long time to just throw it away, without giving it a shot at saving, once again. And, it's not like my H isn't affectionate, and is starting to ML again (although it lacks intimacy, which I can't discuss with him, 'cause he gets defensive, and hurt, and feels I am unsatisfied with the way he does it), and we talk on the phone, and we go on our dates. It's just that something is missing. It's like he came back, but didn't quite come all the way back. He wants me to make the changes, accept him as he is and trust him without making any efforts to change, no intimacy, no meeting of the minds, or even one of my requests, no fireworks, yadda yadda. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm just expecting too much, and sometimes I wonder if I'm not just trying too hard to convince myself that I do still love him, and that I actually don't. Yeah, I think I am really, really frustrated.
On a positive note .... we've been citizens for 3 years now, and I am so proud of that fact (and, I did not take dual citizenship ... just Canadian). I wear something red every Friday in remembrance of our troops, that's how patriotic I am about our awesome country. My D14 is an air force cadet, and proudly wears her uniform. She is going to basic training this summer, and is so looking forward to it. I love Canada. If I were younger, I would join the reserves to help protect the rights and lifestyle so many of us take for granted (although, there are other ways to do that, i.e. vote, taking an interest in one's community, etc.). Believe me, when I say that, because I've seen some real cr*p in my life.
Thanks for thinking of me, WII! Hope you are able to have that little chat with your W tomorrow.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yeah, we MP's are real bulldogs. Sometimes, I just wish I can let go of this M, but 21 years is a helluva long time to just throw it away, without giving it a shot at saving, once again. 
And, it's not like my H isn't affectionate, and is starting to ML again (although it lacks intimacy, which I can't discuss with him, 'cause he gets defensive, and hurt, and feels I am unsatisfied with the way he does it), and we talk on the phone, and we go on our dates. It's just that something is missing. It's like he came back, but didn't quite come all the way back. He wants me to make the changes, accept him as he is and trust him without making any efforts to change, no intimacy, no meeting of the minds, or even one of my requests, no fireworks, yadda yadda. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm just expecting too much, and sometimes I wonder if I'm not just trying too hard to convince myself that I do still love him, and that I actually don't. Yeah, I think I am really, really frustrated. 
