I hear you on the whole pulling back will cause WAS to pursue. I think this is likely a more powerful tool for women than for men (IMO). I've been pulling back a lot, but don't feel like W is too concerned either way. I did read somewhere on a recent post that the WAS begins getting curious once they really feel that the LBS has completely detached and is moving on. Also, they don't want you to get taken by someone else IF they see you've been making great changes and see that you're a great catch. This is an intimidating concern in their mind. Pulling back is what may be necessary before H will consider really coming back to work on the M. If he makes a move toward this, make sure that you don't leap at the opportunity. Kind of stick your toes in the water to let him know that you are leery about his sincere efforts. Read through some of Nomopo'S recent thread on the castle analogy he got from his DB coach -- very telling and helpful, I think!
In the meantime, work on being the kind of person you want to be and that H would love to come back too. Stay consistent with these changes so he will see them as static and there to stay.
