At some point a nice talk with H will be in need for you both...maybe a little glass of wine for you both to relax (as long as alcohol isn't a problem for either of you)...
He needs to understand your feelings and he needs to know you want a BETTER marriage then before...that you don't want to fall back into the old ways that led upto what happened...and NOTHING JUST HAPPENS...if that is the case then it can and will JUST HAPPEN again...
You are right in giving him time to get over her...they don't fall out of love right away...of course continued contact can drag this out...
It took my H a good year to get over the feelings for other woman enough to come home to me...and about another year after that before he could actually say he loved me...men just can't flip a switch on feelings even though it seems like they did for us when they left...
Just keep watching...wait for the right time...keep it calm...no pressure...but do let him know that eventually for you this will need to be addressed to have your own closure...and tell him you don't want to yell and scream at him...that you just want answers, honest ones, so you can move forward to a more close and wonderful relationship...and you want that for him as much as yourself and the kids....
