D Busted...Now Back Here

[OneWish]

Update...

I received papers from my W's atty this week. Basically, my W met with her atty and drafted what my W feels is 'fair' and they want me to look over the docs and sign them. I am not SIGNING anything. We need a MAJOR overhaul on the docs. I am not budging, this is MY life and I am not going to let her get her way just because she continues to blame me for everything and doesn't want to work on things.

My mother has been in the hospital since Tues for surgery. They thought that she had a clogged artery, but it was a misread. She is a smoker and they said her oxygen is low. My boss told me to leave work early on Friday. I texted my W and told her that I would be there around 11am, she said okay. I texted back thanks! I arrive at the office and she has her two sister-in-laws and their kids. D3 starts crying that she doesn't want to go. I am tired of going through this when her cousins are there. Once she leaves, she is fine. I think quick. I am like, I am just going to take her and just leave. We don't have time for this. My W then says, hey I wanted to talk to you about something. I said, okay. She said that she wants me to sign the D papers immediately and not to make her go to conciliation counseling. I told her that I have not yet received them and when I do, I will go through them and make changes. She said we can do that, but in front of my atty. I told her that we don't need your atty to make changes. We can sit down and figure things out and then have your atty make the changes. My W said that my visitations with D3 would be 1-2 night visits a week and she'll spend the night on Friday or Saturday. I told her right away, I want more time. I said I want D3 every other Friday - Sunday and two nights a week. I said can we sit down and figure this out. She said yes. (At least she is WILLING)! I then picked up D3 and said that I am leaving. I made a point to tell my W that I did make a poor choice to leave and do what I did. I then said that this is what YOU are choosing to do and that is end the marriage instead of work on it. Ooohhh she got fired up. She started yelling and cussing. She said that I abandoned them and her atty knows. I then told her that she was breaking stuff, etc. I told her that I am not going to argue, I am leaving. I leave pissed. D3 is crying the whole time, 15 minutes that I was there. I put D3 in the car seat and am ready to go.

My W comes outside crying. She said that she has been trying to be so civil with me and that she has so much anger and hates me. That is strange. I should have told her that the opposite of love is apathy or indifference, not HATE...lol...I just blew her off. I told her that I am moving on with my life, just got a nice apt, blah, blah. She said that she doesn't care to hear about me. I told my W that my heart hurts because D3 now has to suffer for her choice to end the marriage. She said that D3 will be fine. I told her that she is always asking me to spend the night, live with you, and wants the other parent when we are apart. I then suggested D counseling with our previous counselor. My W said that she will go, after the process starts. I told her fine, I will look at the docs when I receive them. W then gave D3 a kiss goodbye and said that she still wants to go to the circus with us.

I go to the hospital to see my mom. They are suppose to discharge her. D3 never saw her there, so I take her there. D3 is still crying all the way up there. After 15 minutes at the hospital, she calms down and starts interacting with my mom. When I am leaving, I texted my W and told her that D3 barely stopped crying. My W calls immediately and I missed her call. She then calls back again and I answer. She asked what happened and I told her that she has been crying and emotional. I told my W that we can't be arguing like that anymore. She said you are right especially not in front of D3, I said not at all. It is not healthy and we both get all worked up. She said, you are right. I then suggested that when we talk, we should dialogue like at Retrouvaille. She laughed and said, we don't need to dialogue. She said that she is confortable with texts and e-mails. I said that is fine. My W then asked about my new place. I told her that I am going to sign the papers with D3 right now. She said that is great because she doesn't want D3 around smoke (my parents smoke).

So weird. I think she is bipolar. At her office she was all grouchy, emotional, irrational, spiteful, disrespectful! Then when she is by herself, she is calm and friendly towards me.

I took D3 to look at 3 sets of apts. I loved each experience. Every office that I went into, there was women there staring at the two of us and making comments on how cute D3 is. The first office that I went into there was another lady in there with her daughter and they were both over there staring, giggling, and whispering. In my head, I was thinking this is a great start for me. Part of GAL. The complex that I chose is brand new, nice quiet area. I am so excited.

I get a call from my cousin at 8pm. I then receive a text that I have a new VM. I called it and ironically, it was my W leaving a message. She said that she is really missing D3 and would like to talk to her. She asked me if I could dial her number and put the phone up to D3's ear and tell her to talk. She said to tell D3 that she loves her. I did not call. We were busy. This is reality.

When she calls today, I will tell her that I will drop her off around 6pm or she can drive all the way over here to pick her up at 4pm. I use to always pick up D3 and take her all the way home. No more of that! She can start picking her up. I am tired of being Mr. Nice Guy.

At this point, I am letting go and focusing only on my new apt. and D3.