Cake eating or Attention Seeking

[Cinderellaman]

Ok - kids are around playing loud, so excuse me if I don't formulate everything properly !

Here's what I have been thinking...

We LBS, are searching for answers as to WHY this has all happened. We see our WAS/MLC'ers doing and saying things we don't understand. We try to make sense of it, but of course can't...although sometimes we live in the illusion that things make sense..

An EXAMPLE.

I have a drop-in (according to RCR and research). I try and find reasons for him not being ready to let go in all the things he still does with US, the kids and me. I keep telling myself that if he would have wanted to leave, he would have left, cold turkey and would not still long to be around me and the kids so much...therefore I ASSUME, he's not ready to leave or I ASSUME his R with OW, is not all it's supposed to be as he seems to lack something which he keeps finding only HERE. This gives me hope...but is this hope realistic ?

Others on this board have different versions of MLCers/WAS...those have actually left cold turkey and don't look for contact with their LBS or children....these LBS, will say that it seems impossible that after so many years of marriage one would just WALKAWAY, just like that - therefore there must be something WRONG! Right?!

There are many versions in between, and each and every time we look for clues and signs in their behaviour...anything can be explained in a way we'd like to explain it !!!

I got a FORWARD e-mail from A NEW2MORROW called "SCRABBLE" it was words and sentences that could be jumbled around to make something that had to do with it ....

EXAMPLE.. "THE EYES" can become - "THEY SEE"

"ELEVEN PLUS TWO" can become - "TWELVE PLUS ONE"

These little riddles opened my eyes to something....

We see what we WANT to see, and ignore the rest. Or we find what we WANT to find and ignore the rest....

I'm not sure what it is EXACTLY that I am trying to say, but what I think it boils down to, is that life is like scrabble....any combination is possible ...but sometimes you don't yet have the right 'letters' to form the word...that's when we need to wait and hope that the needed letter will appear...it MAY, or it MAY not..if it doesn't it's up to our OWN skills to make the best other WORD possible !!! We can wait and wait and wait for that ONE letter to appear so that our KEYWORD can be made, but by that time the board may be full...

It comes down to, we cannot look into the future, we need to live life with what we have NOW !!! When we can do this, life becomes a thrill again...and then funilly enough there seems to be this ENERGY (GOD) that makes all the rest fall into place...sometimes (OFTEN) when we least expect it !

Ok - off to the hockey game - H just called that he hurt his back, he's had a runny tummy for 2 whole days now and he feels HORRIBLE. So he won't be playing anymore...he's waiting for D8 to get there and do her chearleading dance and then he's off to bed (AGAIN).
Maybe his body is exploding ! Emotion overload.......and in the spirit of what I just said - MAYBE HE'S JUST PLAIN AND SIMPLY SICK !

Take care, I'm off to enjoy the day !!! xxx