Wow. Am winding down now. Just spent the last 3 1/2 hours cleaning. Well not actually cleaning, more like de-cluttering. My WAW is a definate clutter bug, my daughter tends to take after her too. I suppose that it is not too late to break that habit in the child if I work on it. This was a job that I have been meaning to do well since she left. I would look at it and procrastinate. Looked like to big of a job. In 3 1/2 hours this place is looking much better. Could actually have 4 people sit at my table to eat now!!!
There is more to do, but it is a very good start. My wife being a clutter bug, does not make her a bad person. It is just the way she is. I have been to her parents house many times, I see why she is the way she is. I dont fault her for it. I on the other hand do like things neat, a place for everything and everything in its place. That is the way my mother was, it is the way I am. When I was in the military this way of thinking was definatly reinforced in me. I feel better when my house is in order. It was a sticking point in our marriage. Sometimes I was an ass about it too. I remember more than once not being able to even set my plate on the table, getting PO'd and just sweeping everything on to the floor. Not good. Did not make her feel good either. I never called her lazy.....but I sure thought it. I also implied it. If she ever does come back it is an issue that we need to work on for sure.
But, well ....... it does feel good to be in a neat(er) house right now. I ran across some old cards. I threw most of them away. I did save the one she gave me for Valentines day. It was signed, Love ------ I think that is the very last time I recieved an expression of love from her. I did not get choked up or anything, just kinda smiled actually. It was nice to not let my emotions run wild.......well for awhile now. Looking at the card I did feel good and kinda bad. But did realize that I am doing better.
Interesting to me also was I am actually doing a GAL activity that involves me being social. How that is affecting me....motivated me to get off my duff and do something I have been putting off. I am also kinda excited about cooking for some people other than myself and my daughter in like 3 months now.
Today was a good day and tommorow is going to be a good day too!!!
