Hi Matilda, just wanted you to know that I am reading along too and to say thank you for stopping by my thread the way you do. Wanted to give you a few of these as well (((((Matilda))))).
I'm going no where fast. All my leads for jobs are dead ends at this point. I really need to find a new job to decide where to look for a new house. I need a new house to get real figures for what to ask for in our settlement. Saw H for about 10 minutes today. He said not to worry about the house, but to hurry and get the financial proposal back to him. I explained that I didn't want to ask for more than I needed, but didn't have good figures at this point since all our money and expenses are still merged.
He wonders why I don't just agree to his proposal since it's a 50-50 split of our current assets and he's "willing" to take on the debt of the house and boat. He just didn't take into consideration his retirement(I've been told I should get half). Also, I'm a bit insulted with his "offer" of alimony: about half the boat payment and for only two years (this for a 30 year marriage!).
Mat, Stand up for your rights, better yet let your attorney stand up for your rights. He's wanting you to hurry up and get the proposal back because he doesn't want to you to take time to reason things out. Take your time, remember it's yours and your DD's future. H got you in this mess, make him sweat a little. Good luck on your job hunt. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
D16 and I are planning a trip next week (Tues - Fri). H was supposed to be off 2 days during that time so he told me he thought he'd stay at the house (life on the boat is getting old I think). H calls today to tell me he rearranged his schedule so has 6 days off in a row so I can stay longer if I want to. I simply said I didn't base my trip plans on his schedule. I then asked if he needed the house during that time. He said no, that wasn't why he offered. Strange! It makes me frustrated how he can change his schedule now to get the weekend off for himself, but he couldn't ever change when I wanted him to be off for a special event.
hey mat Iknow what you are saying. my W does not getpaid if she is not at work. I don't know how many times I tried to get her to take time off so WE could get away. She always said I can't I won't get paid. But she had no problem taking the friday off she spent with the OM at our time share.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I posted this on my other thread re. "fair spousal support", but thought I'd post it here to warn others to be careful!
I screwed up!!!! H and I had a discussion re. finances this morning and it went well except for MY MAJOR GOOF! I tried to figure out a reasonable figure for his retirement and "offered" that to be paid up front instead of monthly after he retires (since he would have more available money now), AND suggested we wait to split the equity on the house until after we sell it.
My mistake was counting the retirement money as an asset to be split when my figure was already based on only a portion to start with(slightly less than half based on my tiny pension). I called him as soon as I realized my math mistake, but he has not returned my call. I can't believe I am so dumb!!! Don't do anything without your lawyer's approval!!!!!
I'm caught up now. All I can say is that you are handling yourself with a lot of dignity and grace.
I don't think your goof will be a big deal--your lawyer will set it to rights, right? As JAK said, nothing is set in stone, and you are allowed to change your mind. How is everything else going? What did you do for your PMA today?
