No, what I'm saying is that just b/c she had an affair with another woman does not make her a lesbian. I agree you will have to figure out at some point whether she feels her sexual preference swings that way, but just b/c she had this A doesn't make her an automatic lesbian. Now, understand, I don't know much about that. I've never tried it or anything so I'm just going on what I do know and that is that some women try it out, but aren't necessarily lesbians. Does that make sense?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to focus on this whole thing as a 'normal' affair, not just focus on the lesbian part of it. That's what I was talking about when I was discussing the trust issues, etc.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10