Bad day today, got a call from xw this a.m. practically in hysterics, her and S14 and S16 were to take an overnighter into the mts today. She was screaming and crying about how S16 was insulting her and that she was just going to leave him at her place. When I asked her about what kind of insults, she just said "not being respectful" (crypto pls). S16 is a great teen and he only is disrespectful when he perceives he is being disrespected. He's not an early riser like xw and needs a cheerful wakening and a couple of snooze reminders to get him up in a good mood. I talked with both of them for a time, calmed them down and they all left on their trip.
The thing that concerns me is that xw would have abandoned S16 again like she did when she pulled the WAW and, new term WAM (walk-away mom) in 2005. How can she not see that S16, while being very together but is still sensitive would have a bad reaction if she just up and left him???
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that has always been her reaction to arguments, to just walk away or drive off, even as far back as to when we were dating pre-marriage. In later years she would either drive off or just clam up and not talk about what was bothering her all the way up to her not saying anything and leaving us altogether. This lead me to two conclusions 1) She has not changed (duh) and is such an inconsiderate MLCer that she would abandon a son that already has abandonment issues. 2) The worm/OM must constantly be taking cr@p and still not "disrespecting" her (aka smooching behind) which is what that queen wants and I just can't give her so it would just be a matter of time until I would be assertive about things and she would go off. Unless maybe that what she needs, a real man.
Digressing here, the main point is that I'm all about the family and that means S16's & S14's happiness as much as mom and dads. Today's antics make me reconsider whether to try anymore with her or not. Clearly she puts herself, friends, and even co-workers ahead of family and that may be an insurmountable challenge. Still don't see how a person can change so much so quickly. Will have to sit down and absorb all this and consider how it may affect what I say/do at the Monday date with her.
