H called out a friendly "Have a good one!" when he left today! HA!! This stuff cracks me up.
The mood was eerily NICE today, conversation what one would call "normal" - no evil-eyed looks, no nasty noises . . . He asked, "So, Pilates is going well for you?" And I said an of-course type "Yes!" "Good. I'm glad it is."
Also, (as he was writing out the biwkly chk [for $100 less]) "Did you cancel the home-phone line?" Me: "Yes" (which he would have known b/c he used to be the only one who called on it). "Good. That's good."
After he plugged the 2 tire holes, mowed the lawn, had small talk & left this morn., he comes back an hour later & fixes the several broken sprinkler-heads in the irrigation system (This was the reason - tho I didn't know it at the time - that he was on me about watering the lawn every night 2 mo ago! HE knew the sprinklers weren't getting to that section of lawn [they are set to go off in the dead of night/morning, so I never realized they weren't doing their job] but couldn't/didn't want to fix them them; rather wanted me to do it (or fail). . .) Anyway, more light talk - talking about the 2 doves that were sitting under a bush that D wanted him to catch for her. . .About the new tires I called around to get quotes on. . . Seemed a bit surprised that I had looked up & could quote the specifics of the ones we had (tread depth & width, mileage warr., & asked his opinion on the 'comparable' ones one place tried to sell me on. He then went into how I could buy them on-line & just bring them someplace to mount, etc. & save about $50, but he ws pretty careful to word it like a suggestion. I decided to go the easier, $50 more way, and made an appt for tomorrow to get it done & over w/. So, all in all, pretty Weird. I reminded him of the neighbor's name who would be here watching the kids when he came to pick them up tonight; he asked me what to pay her &, when he saw her in the yard, went to say hello . . .all pretty Normal. . .After a while we were both in the kitchen & did the small talk/check thing &, after playing w/the kids a bit, called out his "Have a good one" at the front door.
Well, yes, thank you. I think I will.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
This new thread is all I have read to catch up on your sitch since I've been gone a week. Is the alien gone now? Seems like this chat showed that (at least for today, huh?). Where is your sitch in terms of better, same, or worse? Pros and Cons?
Hope things are in going better -- keep up that GALing!
GD, sitch is, uh, in transition, I guess you could say. Check out the last 2(?) pgs of my last thread. After reading James Dobson's Love Must Be Tough I realized that H's lack of respect & idea of my "worth" was what was fueling his consistent anger & escalating, more frequent ugliness. So for 2 days (yest. & day before) I was Not Nice (which is a 180 from the Act As If Doormat I believe H was naming me to himself). Add to that the fact that I'm GALing w/a vengence but in a diff. way (Whole attitude & GALing directional change [see my last post on Nomo's thread] may be having a reactional change in the way H is thinking of/acting w/ me. . . Still in experimental stages, but we'll see.
So, I have to admit, it's Pro's all the way around (for now). Will keep y'all posted. j.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
Caught up on your last few pages of last thread. Is this a 180 for you? Have you always been more or less complacent, accomodating, a "doormat", etc? I think he sees where his poor attitude has backfired, and is now trying to figure out how to regain his lost grip.
GD, I'm convinced H's idea of Still-The-Doormat came about FIRST from the past few yrs (part from Depression, part from being an ostrich/non-confrontational chicken 'shielding' myself from hurt/rjection & part b/c I thought that's what a Good Wife did/didn't do) and SECONDLY from my DB Acting As If. I imagine he has pictured pathetic me laying at his feet holding onto his ankle just awaiting his thumbs-up or thumbs-down on our M. He's gone from thinking to saying & now to doing [things showing that he has no respect for me, that I don't 'deserve' him or anything OF his, and he is perfectly justified in whatever he wants to do/say/think about me]. The pre-M'd me wouldn't have put up w/that BS - and H is seeing a re-emergence of that in the current Me.
So, after the Ugly/Cold Still for 2 days, there's the (journaled) phone convos & interaction regarding the kid-swapping. H knew I went out Thurs night AND that I had plans on Fri night as well. (When the kids persisted in the "But WHERE are you going?" and "But WHO are you going w/?" questions, I told them - winking - that I was going out dancing w/Mickey Mouse.) H came by to get the kids from the babysitter some time after I'd left last night, and then was back this morn. (tho he stayed in the car) so kids could come in & apparently get S's other flipflops & his DS charger. Kids asked (again) "Where are you going?" cuz I was Dressed, and I said (mysterious-voice) "Ohhhh, just out. Where are YOU going?" turning the convo back on them (they said they were going to Tampa).
So, the guys at the tire place were prolly appreciative I made such an effort to look nice this morn. , then I spent the rest of the day running the roads & enjoying myself. Stopped at a Country Club & talked w/the director about offering P.classes (seems very positive) . . . wrote down the names of 2 others I passed that were gated & will phone them on Mon. . . . Received a call in that area from the car following me & I've emailed her P.info as well . . .went to a thrift store to drop off stuff (& bought a few things as well, o/c) . . .Coffee & a bagel . . . phone calls to friends . . . took a new (non-tpke) route to some shops. . . to the Mall to get my June Godiva fix &, yippee!, there were sales at Macy's & Lucky jeans! All-in-all a great day by myself. And Tampa BFF is driving here tomorrow to spend the day.
So, last night. . . (the short version) Dinner/drinks (mojito!) w/girl friends at Cheesecake Factory, then nextdoor to Blue Martini (not my fav place by a longshot, but good for the Purpose) where we were apparently the Belles of the Ball, lol. VERY good for the ego/PMA & cardio system as well. Danced Salsa w/some latin guy - and, thanks to BFF's father for the living-room lessons all those years ago! - did quite the fine job of it & had quite a few watchers. Also had young-Italian guy (never did get his name) walking by, taking hold of my hand, and pulling me behind him onto the dance floor a couple of times. When he asked for my # & we had to get into the Why Not's (that's the omitted Long Version; but I think I did really well w/the convo there), it lead to the Well, how old ARE you? question & his (giveaway), "That's WHACK!" response. Seems I could be the boy's mother but (as he put it) (appreciative) "DAMM!" LOL. So, very good for the ego - esp. considering he persisted even after (or b/c of) that answer. Left at closing & called & went by Friend A's friend's(NOT bf - yet) house at the lake so I could meet him (She wants my opinion...) Turns out he goes to the gym I do, and we recognized each other. So, watched some comedians on tivo for a bit, laughed & chatted,. . .and finally got home at 3:45am!!
Last edited by stillme; 06/30/0710:47 PM.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
Sounds like a great night out , brilliant. This is something I need to do more of now . Its like telling the WAS that "hey I am not hanging about waiting for you "
Said many times over on these boards....we use to preach this same thing to Kristy........who has become a a whole new grown up now.....hehehehe.....because she got the message of stop talking about it and start doing it!!!!!!
, then I spent the rest of the day running the roads & enjoying myself. Stopped at a Country Club & talked w/the director about offering P.classes (seems very positive) . . . wrote down the names of 2 others I passed that were gated & will phone them on Mon. . . . Received a call in that area from the car following me & I've emailed her P.info as well . . .went to a thrift store to drop off stuff (& bought a few things as well, o/c) . . .Coffee & a bagel . . . phone calls to friends . . . took a new (non-tpke) route to some shops. . . to the Mall to get my June Godiva fix &, yippee!, there were sales at Macy's & Lucky jeans! All-in-all a great day by myself.