One link at a time

[whatisis]

I don't even know what "it" is anymore. I consider watching the cheerleaders at football games to be my sex life now! Oh my God, the next step will be perusing the ladies underwear pages in the Sears catalogue! Something has gone horribly wrong somewhere

[BeingMe]

Well, if you've read some of my sitch, you can just imagine what 'it' is for me. But, I'm not going there for now. I will just stay in my virtual happy place, where all is peace and serene. No darkness enters here, only light and goodness. Yeah, I know, I think I've gone quite crackers!

[whatisis]

Being Me, in all seriousness, it's not the sex I miss so much, it's just to hold her hand, to touch her face, to feel connected and be able to say "I love you" and hear "I love you too".
Damn, I am getting old, aren't I

[Phoenix_spark]

Not getting old, just realizing what it was that truly meant something to you. I'm in the same boat, hopefully the current will bring thing back to shore.

[BeingMe]

I know how you feel, WII! More than you can imagine. But, even though I am in Piecing, the struggle continues, and it's really hard when one's WAS has 'returned', and yet not really plugged into the M (in my opinion, anyway ... he may have a different story, which I don't get to hear, 'cause he doesn't speak to me about these emotional issues).

You think you're getting too old ... nuh uh! I am the one getting too old for this, and I am slowly moving toward ending this cr*p. My H comes home tonight, after being away for a couple of weeks in the USA, and I used to get so excited when he was coming home (before the A, that is), even just from work. Now, I feel somewhat empty.

I don't miss the sex that much, either (I'm a chick for pete's sake, and we can go without for a long time, I've heard), but even ILU's, the odd affectionate hug and holding hands, doesn't mean we are connected. I miss intimacy, not necessarily sex (although that can be a part of it), but just knowing I can share my innermost thoughts with him, and know that I am safe (emotionally speaking), and confident that I am first in his life, as he was in mine. I want to know that he hears me. I want to be able to trust him again, but I am a long way from that. There was a time that I knew these things to be true, but now I feel like our R is in an earthquake region, and you just never know when the ground is going to crack open and swallow you.

'Eh, I better get myself into a better frame of mind before tonight. I think I'm going to go and do some painting or something.

[Phoenix_spark]

Thanks for the message, you were so much on the money. In fact, I'm still trying to let some of it sink in, other times I'm just trying to figure out how you know/knew so much. Could have so much to do with how much of my threads you have read. Thanks again.

[BeingMe]

I hope I was some help, Phoenix. We sure have been in this a long time together on the forum.

This self-improvement, DB'ing, dealing with WAS sitch, is like having sticky paper on your hand ... you pull it, push, rub it, try and get it off with your teeth, and just when you think you have it unstuck, it sticks to the other hand (ugh, then you try the same thing you did with the previous hand), but you keep trying to get it off, and sometimes the only way to get it unstuck, is to start cutting it away then washing it off with soap and water. Or, someone else comes along and pulls it off for ya, if ya let 'em!

Can you tell I've been doing some writing lately? LOL

[tyler]

Well, if you've read some of my sitch, you can just imagine what 'it' is for me. But, I'm not going there for now. I will just stay in my virtual happy place, where all is peace and serene. No darkness enters here, only light and goodness. Yeah, I know, I think I've gone quite crackers!

You know there is something to creating your very own reality. I know some certified insane folks that are leading very happy and fulfilling lives. It's all in how you define happy and fulfilled.

I just wish the definition wasn't based on what we can live with or without. I want it all right now!

[whatisis]

Being Me, Still going camping this long weekend? Have a great time!

[BeingMe]

Actually, the camp is from Tuesday for 3 days. Should be fun! This weekend, H is home. We have a friend coming to visit for the weekend too, from Calgary.

Thanks for checking in Tyler (you are so right) and WII.