Last night went pretty well. Not much to say. I had fun. Reminds me of a quote from Byron Katie, "I have a great marriage, I don't know what kind of marriage my husband has".
I'm really working on staying away from her and letting her have plenty of space. Frustrating for sure, particularly when we are out. I want to dance and have fun with her, I can't really dance with other women. Frustrating. At one point she came over and asked why am I staying so far away. Honestly, it's because she, her sister and friend were sitting at the bar. I hate sitting at a bar, people are constantly reaching over/around you to order and get their drinks. Just gets annoying. So I went over by the band and was having fun. I told her and rather than believe me, she said I was trying to make a point(?). I told her, don't you remember, this is how I have always been, I don't like to sit or stand next to the bar. Got the old, 'whatever, you know what you are doing' and she walked away. No way was I going to let that ruin my night. I came to hear a good band and dance so I did.
She called earlier today to discuss the possibility of her sisters children staying with us, (my two oldest nieces), for the rest of the summer. They are great kids. Just awesome at everything they do. W's sister divorced approximately 3 years ago. SIL was physically, mentally, emotionally abused, he also cheated on her several times. SIL had to do it, although within months of the D being final she was considering the possibility of a reconciliation.... After a few days spent with him back in the house, she realized that while he had a handle on the anger issue as far as physical abuse goes, he did not as far as emotional abuse goes so he had to go again.
Point is, W has this discussion with me because my neices aren't doing so well with everything. I felt like screaming from a rooftop, "so where is all the studies now about how kids will be okay after divorce???"
Additionally, SIL's house is in foreclosure, she is a emotional wreck, cries constantly, is working insane hours to try to make ends meet and her kids told my W that they probably see their mom for around an hour, total, a week.. Okay, again, where was that study that said women do fine if not better once they are able to get away from the toxic marriage and become whole? I believe this one came from her IC, the one that is pushing for life sans tyler.
Reality versus whatever you call the rubbish W wants to believe. Just doesn't mesh.
Anywhooo. I'm just pissing and moaning. All around W, her divorced friends who all swore life would be so much better, (3 in the last year), are crashing and burning, yet somehow none of this is going to happen to her????
