quick post I think it depends totally on the MLCer whether it is cake eating or not. I worried about it as I continued to ML with my H while he was living with OW. I became worried that he was cake eating too. I think in a way he was, but in a way he wasn't. He has since told me that the ML was one of the big things that connected us again. He said that each time he left me was harder and harder as he felt emotionally closer and closer to me each time we would. When I finally told him that I couldn't anymore as it was getting too hard on me to watch him leave everytime is when he approached me about coming home. So was that cake eating?? When he was afraid he was going to lose me entirely he made a decision. He actually said he'd made the decision about a month before I told him no more sex, but he just wasn't sure how to go about getting it done. Would he have sat there on the fence forever until either she or I made a move like I did? Would he have just gone on enjoying having both of us? Was it the thought of losing me forever that jolted him along?? Who knows. I probably never will for certain, but I have to think that my situation was a little of both. A little cake eating and a little emotional connection that brought us closer together. I don't think it's as cut and dried as one or the other most times.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
