Coming out of our "entitlement" ruts?

[RedHeadWife]

Well, like I said, you need to try to stop doing things that are starting and/or continuing the arguments/fights/whatever. That is what I'm talking about as far as YOU trying to get things back on the right track.

I agree you need to set some boundaries as far as what he has been saying to you and make sure he knows that it's not ok to be abusing in that way, however, it seems he did try w/ the roses and then he did initiate the other night and you kind of 'threw it in his face.' Thus the cycle continues.

I understand your "entitlement" issues, however, you learning to trust him again has to be a decision you make and it can't be based on whether or not he is continuing to have issues w/ the 1992 thing. Yes, he needs to do/say things to make sure you know that you can trust him again, however, you stewing about it and EXPECTING (there's those expectations again) him to say & do things constantly to somehow make it up to you isn't going to help anything. As far as he's concerned, it's over & done w/. There no longer is any OW/EA so it's time to move on. The fact that he had an EA via email and his 1992 issues are not connected in any way. It seems you feel since he has issues w/ the 1992 thing, you are entitled to have issues w/ his EA. Well, somebody has to get on w/ things and start going forward at some point. Stewing about things are going to make them go away or make them better or make your M any better.