Stopping this cycle is very hard. There is no way to do it without getting it across to him that you are NOT going to be treated that way anymore. A good start would be to stop engaging him in these fights. Be the better person. Stop attacking back when he attacks you. If he continues to attack, then you will need to have a strong boundary there. That may ultimately be S or D. I know you want to make this work. I just do not see an easy way to make that happen. Some people say to appease him more and that may work at times. But I am emotionally exhausted just reading about the efforts you have made to "make it right" so to speak. It is not something you can force. He does not respect you and your boundaries (which are non-existent, so...) You will need to start with You and worry about what he is doing less, for now. That is hard but it is probably necessary. He is not going to change first. LFL
