Is there any hope? Anyone had any success

[truebronco]

Well not a good night for me. I went home, acted like Superman, like all was good and It backfired on me. I took the W and Kids to dinner, came home , acted upbeat played with the kids, treated the W with respect and just as I am ready to go to bed she asks if we can talk. I was prepared as all have given me advice to do to be strong, not ask her to leave, go along with all she had to say, not put her down. Well she pulls out the Divorce papers she went and got earlier in the day and asks if I would read through them with her because she wants me to agree with all of it. I kept calm and simply told her I would be happy to read through them this weekend but the papers werent my biggest concern. Filing papers doesnt help us as to when or where she is going to go. She knows financially we are not set up to support 2 households. She repsonded yes I know that, thats why I am going to have Matt (the OM) help me. He is going to help me get a place and help me with my bills. I lost it at that point. And told her if thats what she wants she can leave tomorrow. This is our marriage and WE should figure this out, he has no business in it. I told her look If you think you love him and you claim you have only a friendship with him now so I dont think you know if you do, then you should not use him to escape your marriage, I am prepared to not make life miserable while you stay here while WE figure out how to make what you want to happen, happen. But I cannot support anything as long as he is the one involved. If he is not in the picture I am here to go through this with you no matter which direction it goes. I asked her if she would admit she is leaving me for him and she said no, right now she wants to get out on her own and if it happens with him in the future then it does. She says I have told you I have feelings for him. I asked her if the Rush on the D papers was so she could move on with him and she said I guess it has something to do with that. I told her then just go, i dont need this nightmare any longer. I did tell her though to think long and hard about what she is doing, if she needed to get away ALONE this wknd to do some soul searching and thinking, I would take care of the kids and pay for a hotel somewhere. I told her even though it may not seem to matter to her right now but if she leaves this way and goes to him, she is throwing away any chance of reconciliation with me if she ever realized she made a mistake, I could never take her back if she continued with thisng this way and went to another man. He has money and I knwo she is going to him for financially stability since she only works when school is in and only part time as a teachers asst. Makes about 500 a month for 9 mos of the year, and refuses to get a full time job because she wants to be there when the kids are there and wont have anything to do with daycare for them. I did assure her at this point she knows I still love her (I know I am not supposed to do that) but what she is doing right now is going to end any and all of that forever. I offered again for her to get counseling if she wanted it if not for us for her, I can tell she is confused and right now I dont hold any of this against her because I dont feel like she is in a place where she knows what she is truly doing. I got about 2 hours sleep and now back at work. What a train wreck! I have the next 5 days off and I cant decide what to do, if I should stay here and continue to fight for it or just leave town for a few days.
I have one BIG challenge can anyone give me advice on? I am very involved in my kids sports, I am actually a coach on S11's football team. This Sunday is our kick off of the season BBQ get together for all the coachs and kids. Problem is the OM is one of the coaches also. I cannot see myself going to the BBQ now with he and my W there, but I dont want to let my son down. I dont even know how I am going to be able to coach on the team this year and it means sooo much to my S11.
Believe it or not all the Nightmare I am going through and this is the issue that bothers me the most right now...I have coached his football team for 3 years along with basketball and Baseball, but Fball is his ultimate and he is the star. I cant see myself coaching this year but I also dont want the OM coaching him either!!!!!!!