So cool about the car! My brother had a 68 also before. He's got a 69 chevelle convertible that he bought from underneath me, the little punk.
The only "cool" car I've had is a 71 monte carlo with a small block 350 in it. It was fun! That was when I was 17 and working at Western Auto. I had lots of guys ask me about sellin it. Coulda sold it for 3-4K, but ended up selling for 500 after I totalled it on the highway. was very sad!
I will have to see your car when it's all done! I bet it will look awesome! It's also such a great thing for you to be having your boys help you with it. They will remember that when they have boys of their own. neither my brother, nor my H had that kind of R with their dads.
Keep up the great work! Hope you and your mom enjoyed your 3 hour convo.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
wow, that is so wonderful your mom is so supportive of you.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
very excited about the anni reply you got. That definitely was a risk, but it turned out to work well. I wouldn't say the ILY again unless she does it first though. Remember that saying the ILY when they are not ready can make them feel guilty and other emotions that aren't what we want.
And like someone said, don't read into her comment, just be thankful for it and continue moving on as you are. Keep up your confidence and low expectations.
have a wonderful 4th! oh, and happy anniversary too! I have faith that you WILL get to your 50th
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I knew it what I sent her could cause a negative reaction, I did it for me because I thought it was the right thing to do on my anniversary. If she wants to leave she'll do it and if she wants to use a message like that to add fuel to her fire that is her problem.
Goal wise, I have a bunch for myself, have to dig them up and see where I'm at with making progress with them. I just mentioned the ones that applied to my wife. Finally got the lawn mower fixed, after 3 days of trying to drill out a bolt with a broken off drill bit in it, I accidentally broke off the whole piece of aluminum that had the broken off bolt in it, so I said screw it and put it all back together with 2 out of 3 bolts holding that particular spinning 21" blade on it (ya, risky, that is why I tried so hard to get the stupid broken off bolt off out). S15 helped me work on it, he said he learned a lot, like what helicoils are and how to sharpen blades and to not break drill bits off inside of bolts... LOL! He mowed the back lawn for me, mower is working better, but still not 100%.
Before the mower work S15 went to church with my this morning, then we had lunch together, then came home for part 1 of mower work, which included visiting 7 stores looking for helicoils and bolts. We had to stop working on the mower to go meet 2 of my co-workers for 9 holes of golf. That was fun, think I only lost 3 golf balls and maybe hit 2 houses, but it was only 9 holes. S13 drove the golf cart with me and S15 in it while S15 and I golfed. S13 was playing around with the female co-worker that was golfing with us (I think he has a crush on her, the two of them are always playing around at the office too) and he ran into her with the cart, bashed her in the shoulder, she wasn't happy about it, plus S13's attitude about it all didn't help. Later on the other male co-worker's daughter who was driving the female co-worker's golf cart around swirved so hard that the female co-worker flew out of the cart on to her head. She laid on the ground for a bit, not sure how hard she hit her head, luckily it was the last hole, but lots of excitment and fun in only 9 holes...
No contact initiated from my wife today, she called both S13 and S15 while we were on the way to go golfing. I sent her a goodnight txt msg late tonight and got response of "C u in am", she has to get up at 4am for her flight here in the morning.
D23 called me and I missed her call, we've been playing phone tag for almost a week. I finally talked to her late tonight and she is still avoiding talking to her mom, can't believe that her mom is complaining about having to pay $160/mo for her health insurance, yet my wife can spend who knows, $8,000-$10,000 for her 55 yr old sister to enlarge her breasts. My daughter apparently told my wife that exactly and my wife didn't seem to like it too much. D23 also said that her cousin (daughter of my wife's 55 yr old sister) who is 30 yrs old is tired of my wife calling her to try to get her to go clubbing with her, apparently the cousin's friends go to some of the clubs that my wife is trying to get her to go to and the cousin doesn't want to be seen with her 51 yr old aunt or something. I really don't need to hear about any of it, but it doesn't really seem to matter to me anymore, that part is nice. I really don't want to know and my wife seems all too good and telling me nothing of what she is doing so that is working good.
D23 was talking about how she'll help me clean the house and take care of the kids when she comes here in August to start college, but she doesn't want to be here when my wife is here so she'll be going back to where she lives now to work and to avoid her mother. I don't know how I'm going going to deal with my wife not wanting D23 to live here and my wife's threats of moving all of "her stuff out with a uhaul truck" if D23 is going to live here since D23 will trash everything and go thru all her stuff. My first inclination is let D23 move in and my wife can do whatever she feels she needs to do, but I don't want to do anything stupid to harm my ability to rebuild our marriage. Maybe it'll drive her off, maybe it'll cause her to respect me, don't know, guess we'll find out soon when I figure out what I'm going to do.
S15 has been trying to tell me something for a couple days now, he finally worked up the nerve tonight. I did get out of him earlier at lunch that our family wasn't invited to his GF's house anymore for their 4th of July BBQ and that his GF is grounded. Well he finally told me what happened, he says that the night I took my mom to the resort town overnight his GF came over, plus 2 other kids and they all got drunk at my house drinking beer. The other kids brought the beer and 2 of the 3 other kids crashed on the floor overnight. His GF's parents have forbid him and his GF from having any contact now and she is grounded for sometime I guess. The other 2 kids are also in trouble with their parents and my son has been agonizing over not being able to tell me what happened for a couple days now. He wanted to get it out but didn't know how to tell me. He says he understands that I won't trust him and he will do anything to rebuild it. He says that he drank just to see what it was like, unlike some of the other kids who did it because they wanted to escape their lives. He says no one drove anywhere and he learned his lesson and especially doesn't want to do something that will come between us and that destroys the trust I have in him. He will accept whatever punishment he gets and do his best to be trustworthy again. I'm certainly glad he told me and that I didn't find out from someone else, that was a big step for him to face up to what he'd done. We talked about drinking and drugs and also his GF, he says he wants nothing to do with drugs and that he won't "do anything" with his GF. I told him that drinking and also drug are things that cause people to do things that they thought they wouldn't or that they didn't plan to do or even remember doing. Losing control of your actions isn't something I want and hope he understand as well. I told him that I appreciated him telling me and I'd let him know what punishment I decide on, he hugged me and said he never wanted to do something again that he didn't want to tell me, that it had been hard on him having this on his mind constantly for the last couple days. I asked him if he was going to tell his mom or if he wanted me to do it. He said he hadn't even thought about that, he didn't know. I told him that she needs to know and he mentioned that she'd said something to him before that "she new he would do something like this" but he finally after a bit of thinking told me "if I don't tell her by Tuesday night then you'll have to do it." I told him Monday would be better and that she'd be wondering pretty quickly that his GF wasn't around that he didn't need to start lying about that in order to cover this up, that would just add to the problem. I'm certainly relieved that what he told me wasn't something "worse" like "my GF is pregnant" which is my worst fear. I watched my BF in high school do that to himself and his GF and luckily that taught me a hard lesson at someone else's expense.
Well lot of crap to still do around the house, laundry is piling up, haven't really done much to prepare for my wife showing up in the morning, the lawn being finished was a big one, weeds all over still tho'. My mom did a lot to help me last week so things are too bad around here, I don't need to have my wife show up with her "white glove on" and do another barracks inspections tho', might just tell her where to stick that white glove for an inspection if she starts that crap...
Have no idea what she'll be like, she is all nice and friendly on the phone, but has cut back her contact with me more and more. From what my daughter says my wife doesn't seem to be acting like she is married or wants to be married so I plan on doing my best to stay out of her face, do my own thing and leave her room if she wants to tag along. Other than the baseball game on Tuesday night and whatever we decided to do on the 4th, I don't have any plans to spend a bunch of time with her, luckily I have to work the rest of the week so that'll give me less time to deal with her being here physically but not here emotionally or mentally, that is hard to deal with and the less I have to the better I seem to feel. If she was still in "work on the marriage" mode I'd be looking forward to time with her, but at this point I think I'd just as much assume go somewhere else for the week, a sad way to feel about the woman I love, the mother of my kids, my wife of 17 yrs, 1 day.
Thanks HS, I am both proud and disappointed in my son, but I love him all the same.
I feel the same way about D23, but it is hard to seperate the issues. I do think I'll figure out what I believe is best and let my wife react however she wishes. I don't want to purposely drive my wife away, but I don't want to continue to allow her to control me either.
Stayed up way too late last night, plus couldn't get to sleep once I tried at 3am. Woke up at about 7:45am from my phone beeping from a txt msg my wife had sent at 7am saying "On plane." I jumped in the shower, dressed and woke up S13 who had said he wanted to go to the airport with me to pick up his mom. Headed to the airport, got there early, waited a bit, sent my wife a txt msg asking where she wanted me to meet her figuring she'd get it when she turned on her phone after landing. Never heard anything from her, so I drove around to where I picked her up last time and started moving some stuff around in the back of the truck to make room for her suitcase and she showed up. Put her suitcase in, said hi, no physical contact and she jumped in the truck.
I asked her how her flight was, she said fine. Her and S13 talked a bit, my wife started counting out $100 bills, gave I think one to S13, I wasn't watching or paying any attention visually, just saw a bit of what she was doing out of the corner of my eye and heard her counting bills. She gave me a stack and said it was for the flights she said she'd pay for, $200 that S13 owed me, plus for her apartment rent since she said she'd written a check out of our joint account to pay it. I said thanks and put the money in my pocket. My wife asked if D23 had said anything about where she was going live when she comes to school at the end of the summer. I told her that she hadn't mentioned it. Then my wife told me that D23 had sent her a txt msg saying "I guess you can't afford my health insurance since you're too busy paying for your sister's boob job" and I asked "why did she say that?" My wife said that she'd given her sister money for the deposit with the plastic surgeon and how D23 was just into herself and how it was "just like her" to say that. I just let it drop. S13 said he was hungry, I asked my wife if she wanted to eat or just go home. She said she would eat so I picked a place to go have breakfast at.
When she got out of the truck I caught a glimpse of the low cut blouse she was wearing under her jean jacket, with her new large chest in view. Didn't linger or look, just noticed, I've never seen the blouse before, I'm sure she bought it to go with her new body. When we got inside the restrauant S13 sat at the booth first, then I let my wife go ahead of me to sit down and she sat across from him, I decided to sit next to her so I wouldn't have to deal with her blouse being in front of me and wouldn't have to look at her. We had a good breakfast, S13 talked about golfing the day before, my wife asked where we'd gone and it sounded like she might want to go golfing while she is here.
After breakfast we headed home, a little talk on the way, there is construction not far from the entrance to our subdivision and my wife mentioned it and asked what they were building and I said "A mormon church" and she said "that is terrible" and then after a bit she added "all the traffic is what is terrible" like she wanted to revise what she'd said the first time. Pulled into the driveway and got to hear as I got out of the truck complaints about the cat's house and food and water being on the ground next to my old '72 F250 instead of in the back of the truck where the cats have been living for the last year or so. I said everything was taken out so we could drive the truck. She wanted to know why we drove the truck and wanted to know why the stuff wasn't put back. I told her that I still needed to drive it again to get it the smog inspection done. She just continued about the truck and the cats, I said "whatever" that I could put the cat's house back in the truck and did so.
First thing my wife did was drag the parrot's cage outside, I went in and put the stuff I needed for work into my backpack, then took out the garbage and told my wife I was heading to work. She said ok, S13 asked when I'd be home and I told him between 5 and 6pm. My wife then called me on my way to work to complain about the white fuzz all over the backyard, wanted to know what it was from, I told her the dogs had torn up one of their beds. She wanted to know how long it'd been why no one cleaned it up right away, did we wait until the day before she came, it is still all over the yard, on and on. She also started in on a dentist bill that I'd put in her stack of mail, why didn't I pay it, why didn't I tell her, "why do I open some of HER mail, but not bills" which is untrue I haven't opened any of her mail since she seems to have a cow over it, yet it is a one way street, she'll open anything she wants and throw anythign she wants away. I just tried to validate, not buy into her spewing. She wanted to know "what is wrong with you" and I told her nothing, I'm fine. Then she said something about getting rid of the bird, how it is too much work, etc., etc., I told her that I never complained to her about taking care of it and how I've take care of it for over a year and a half just fine. I told her if she wanted to get rid of it that is her decision, but not to try to make it about how I can't or don't take care of it. Then it was on to the house, how it is too much for me to take care of, I told her it is a lot of work, but I take care of it, maybe not as good as she would, but I do it. She jumped all over that, "she didn't want to hear those words, she'd heard them for 17 yrs..." I told her not to ask me questions then if she didn't want to hear what I had to say. On that note, she said she'd get the boys to help her clean the house and bye, I just hung up when she said bye.
Pulled into work 10 secs later, went into my office not feeling very strong, felt pretty sad, felt tears coming which I haven't felt in awhile, especially not about my wife. I'm sure 3-4 hrs of sleep aren't helping, missing my AD med yesterday isn't help, certainly my wife's attitude isn't help, but I've finally pulled myself together, found some peace inside and strength. During this my wife started calling me on my cell phone, I didn't answer, wasn't in the mood to talk to her with my feelings being what they were and my emotions bubbling out. Just ignored her 1st 2 calls while I continued to meditate and pray. She sent me a txt msg saying "answer your phone" and I replied "I'm in a meeting" which I was with God at the time and with myself. She replied with "too bad" and I waited a few mins, then called her cell phone back and got no answer. Let it at that.
That is my morning thus far, not what I'd like to experience, but it is what it is, I'm just trying to persevere thru it and maintain my principles, my faith, my beliefs in spite of my circumstances...
I told her before that I don't need her showing up here and critisizing everything, she said "I won't be around to do that much longer..." This time I didn ask her "is there some reason you're bring up the stuff in the yard" in the middle of her ranting. I do need to continue to stick up for myself and not just grin and bear her personal attacks without lashing at her in the process. I'm making baby steps, mostly in attitude more than words, just need to find the words to use in real time.
Thanks for your comments HS, I need to work thru this somehow.
sorry for her meanness. Sometimes I wonder that it's part of her just trying to find reasons to be mad at you or find fault with you.
I know i used to do this with my H too. Didn't really realize it until later. I think it was due to the underlying reason of him not wanting to go to church with us, or supporting me with that part of my life. So my subconscious would tell me to pick at little things.
Or, it's the fact that she is not happy and so she's trying to make everyone else miserable. not on purpose though.
on D23, Is there any other rooms? And also, she is 23. Granted I moved back at my moms when I was 20 or 21, but I paid $100 rent. On the insurance deal...well, they're both being silly. really your d23 should be doing her own thing, but then your w is being selfish too.
I also don't think you need to put up with W's comments. We really need to think of a 180 on this one. You need to be firm and direct and quick. then get back to being a fun happy guy.
okay, gotta pack now. I'll be praying for you. sorry it's starting so rough. you can do it though.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Came home from work, changed into some work clothes, wife said "where ya going" and I said out to work in the yard. Got the comment back "why now, no one has done anything in the yard since I was here last time." It is an absolute lie, but I didn't defend myself, I just walked away. She wanted me to come back so she could have me remove a screen from a window and reinstall 2 others she'd taken out and cleaned. I did it, she had to throw in "why can you guys think to clean the screens" and I told her because it was a pain in the ass to get them all install the first time. She said that is too bad, life is a pain in the ass, she has "had to deal with this stuff for 17yrs..." I just bit my tongue and moved on. Pulled weeds for awhile until S13 wanted to know if I wanted to go to the bookstore, I said sure.
I drove S13, my wife and I to the bookstore, found a book I needed on restoring Camaros and also one on Yellowstone park since I want to plan a trip with the kids there this summer and don't know anything about the place. We sat around reading for a bit, my wife found another pair of reading glasses to buy plus a book, she handed them to me to buy for her. We came home, I changed into my PJs and grabbed some stuff to read from the masterbed room where my wife was laying on the bed and headed to S13's room to read and later to sleep. I'm doing my best to be upbeat and not negative, haven't really had much to say to her.
While at the bookstore I sent a txt msg to S15 and asked if he'd told his mom today about his party last week while I was out of town. He said he told her everything. She hasn't mentioned it to me, guess I'll see how I want to handle working out his punishment with her or on my own. I have tickets to take everyone to the minor league baseball game tomorrow night, then fireworks on Wed night and S13 and my wife were talking about going to a movie on Thursday night. My wife seemed to get a lot done around the house today, I tried to say something nice about her doing a lot, not sure if she cared to be complimented by me tho'.
D23 could live in my office if I moved my crap around, I might do that since it has it own's stairs and shower and is like a one bedroom apartment above the garage. That might keep her out of my wife's stuff and the master bedroom.
You headed to Vegas ST or somewhere else? Have a good trip and thanks for the prayers.
It's very possible that you can turn her bitterness around. People who are depressed can be uplifted by optimistic people. But it is also very easy for it to happen the other way. So just don't let her bring you down to her level. You don't want to get stuck in the mud.
I still think you need to figure something else out to say or do when she acts like this. What did you USED to do? Did you used to walk away and ignore it? If so, we really need to think of something different for you. Nothing hateful or mean. but something that shows that you are a man standing up for yourself and are competent and she needs to keep her mouth shut! I'm going to Wichita to visit family, and to do some Mona Vie business.
What if you had a calendar and anytime she griped at you, you could put a checkmark on that day. Eventually she'll ask what your doing and you can say, "I'm just seeing if I can get thru one day without receiving a complaint about what I'm doing or not doing". That's probably a really bad idea, but it came to mind first. probably better would be to really acknowledge the good things she says. Or maybe say. "oh, are you wanting to move back?"
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
HS, I don't think she has much of anything (in the present) to grip about so she has to do it about meaningless stuff. According to her the "real problem" would be that she doesn't want to be married. S13 told her again today that all she does is tell him what he does wrong and that all she does is criticize him. She has plenty of problems, I can't begin to figure them out and I can't fix them anyhow. And believe me I've tried
Today I got up, showered, dressed and started coffee for my wife and left for work. My wife and kids were all still sleeping, surprising to see my wife sleeping so late (about 9:30-10am at least) but she'd been up at 4am the day before and worked around the house a bunch (tho' she tried to act like she'd been napping all day). About noon I sent S13 a message to see if he was up yet. He said he'd just gotten up. I told him to wake up S15 and that they should come meet me at work and we'd go to lunch and go the fireworks store that has all the "good stuff." He said he'd go wake up S15. A few mins later I got a call from my wife saying she was on her 5 mile walk and had stopped 1/2 way at the golf course clubhouse and was going to have the boys meet her for lunch and I could just meet her and them there, then go get fireworks. I told her ok, I'd meet her at the golf course.
I finished up some work I was in the middle of and then told the last person the in office I was heading out to meet my wife and kids for lunch, that started a 15 min conversation about "how sad what I was going thru was..." This is a woman that is my wife's age and she wanted to tell me all about what she went thru during menopause and her first marriage of 17 yrs. I tried to listen and not put her off, but the conversation carried on and I was trying to be polite. Finally got out of the office, called my wife on the way to tell her to order for me, asked if the boys were there yet. She said the boys weren't there yet, she started to get irritated with "you haven't left the office yet..." I told her I got hung up at work, but I had left the office, would be there in 15-20mins and she could order for me. She said something about "being the story of her life...waiting for me..." I didn't get sucked into her spew, I've heard it before, she asked what I wanted, I told her just order me a hamburger and fries.
I got there in about 15mins, maybe 40mins since she'd called me about meeting her. S15 was sitting in front of the clubhouse in his truck with my wife talking to him thru the window. I parked, and he drove off, my wife said that S15 was depressed and didn't want to eat lunch, she'd talk him something. She hadn't order any food yet. We sat outside and watched the people on the driving range, waited for a bit to order, then quite awhile for our food. I said we could kit some golf balls while we waited, that I had my clubs in the truck. My wife said we could do that, after we eat. As the waiting for food drug on, my wife said I might as well go get my clubs, then she told the waitress she just wanted to leave, forget the food (ya, she is impatient, 'eh) but the waitress was bringing the food as my wife started to tell her. When I got back with my clubs we ate, then I paid for the food and asked how long it would take to get a hamburger to go for S15 after how long we'd waited for our food. Bought a large bucket of range balls and my wife, S13 and I all hit balls for a bit. My wife keep telling S13 "look at that one...check out that hit..." even tho' S13 was on one side and I was in the middle with my wife on the far side from S13. She didn't tell me to look at any of her hits, but I did compliment her a couple times when she had a good drive. My wife helped out S13 with how to hit a golf ball a bit, that was nice to see. We all had a good time, then I dropped my wife off at home and waited for S13 to take a shower.
Headed with S13 to the fireworks store, took an hour to drive there and back, plus the place was packed with people. Finally got back to work after a 3 hr lunch of eating, hitting golf balls and buying fireworks. Took S13 to work with me to save driving home and back which would prolong my extended lunch even more. I had bought a skybox with 8 seats for the baseball game tonight (Tuesday) and had S13 and S15 trying to drum up 4 friends to fill up the 8 seats. Since I had S13 with me, I called my wife and asked her to have S15 drive her and him to my work and we could all go together from there instead of me driving home and then back to get the game, plus it would let me catch up after being gone for 3 hrs for lunch. She said that was fine. Later I called to tell her that S15 and her needed to pick up S13's friend and bring him too.
About 15mins before S15 and my wife were supposed to be at my office S15 called and said that one of our dogs has something stuck in its eyes and the eye is swollen shut and they need to take him to the vet right away. The same thing happened to my beagle about a month or so I ago. I told S15 to take the dog to the vet by out house that I'd taken the last dog to. Next thing I know S15 walks into my office and my wife is out in the car and wants to talk to me. She has the dog, wants to take it to the vet. I make the decision that S15 can drive S13 and S13's friend to the baseball game which started in an hour and I'll drive the dog to vet with my wife. I print out directions to get to the ballpark for S15 and explain to him how to get there, give him 6 of the 8 tickets and tell him to go tell my wife to get in my truck and I'll take her to the vet.
I get the office shutdown, alarm set and climb in the truck, start driving to the vet back by our house. My wife says something about "she doesn't know why we both have to take him to the vet. I tell her I can take him and she can go with S15 to the game" she says no, it is fine. As I'm heading back towards our house, my wife asks where I'm going, why aren't I going to the vet downtown, I tell her that I'm going to the vet by our house, I thought they were going straight there, not sure why they came to my office. She lays out a line like "everything with you turns out like this...17 yrs of this crap" basically blaming me for the problems of not knowing if the vet by our house is open past 6pm, me not knowing the phone number to call them. I'm irritated by this comment, I flat out tell her that she doesn't have anymore answers than I do, that I don't need to be nothing but criticize for everything at the same time nothing I do right seems to matter. She says she doesn't need to hear about "how all she does is criticize me..." Then she says "we already know this marriage sucks, lets just call a truce and go to the vet and not fight about it. I ask her which vet she wants to go to, just tell me. She says she doesn't know the town, I do. I decided to go downtown to the critical care vet that did the surgery on my beagle when I ran her over last year. It is also close to the ballpark. I was fixated on going to the vet by our house and trying to figure out how to get there ASAP, didn't plan to go to the vet downtown since it is only open after 5pm and only deals with critical things during the day. I also didn't want to drive all the way there and back to take the dog home afterwards either. But it seemed like the best best, I know it'd be open, it was close to the ballpark and if we could bring the dog to the game with us we wouldn't have to even go back home to drop it off. I got on the freeway to go downtown and my wife asked where I was going, I told her, she said "I don't know why we just didn't go there from the start, the other vet probably closed early for the 4th of July holiday anyhow."
We get the vet, of course on the drive there I notice my wife has a most revealing top on with her new breasts sticking out, I make a point to ignore them and look at her as little as possible. For some reason I still get a sick to my stomach feeling over them, sucks to feel that way, but they seem to bring up all the crap she pulled back when she had the surgery, compounded by the fact that I can't see or touch them makes me not want to look at them. My problem no doubt, have to finish getting that stuff straight in my head somehow. We're at the vet for an hour, at one point since I'm standing up across the exam room and my wife is irritated that we might have to wait for a long time to get the dog treated, she says I "might as well sit down" even tho' she is sitting on the small sitting area with her feet up on the bench. I sit down and put her feet on my lap back across the bench like they'd been with my hand on her leg. Resisted rubbing my hand up and down her leg and the fact when I look over at her I could see practically down to her belly button with the top she had on.
Anyhow get the dog fixed, looks like it got in a fight with one of our cats and the cat scratched it's eye along with it's belly once or twice. We take the dog to the game, we get to the skybox and I look for the food that came with the deal I bought and find two plates with foil over them, take the foil off one and hand it to my wife, she says "I can get my own food", what a snotty remark, whatever, I just took the plate myself and added some other food to the plate and headed out to the seats ouside the skybox to watch the game. It was the 3rd inning by the time we got there, I sat next to my wife, arms touching quite a bit, just nice to feel her next to me after a month of not seeing her and zero physical contact since she showed up this time and very little last time. She held the dog on her lap almost the whole game until near the end when the dog wanted to crawl over on to my lap. I got slightly more comfortable seeing her breasts hanging out, still hurts in the pit of my stomach, but hopefully I'm slowing getting over all of it. Watched some nice fireworks after the game, plus our home team creamed the vistors. During the fireworks my wife covered the dog's ears, bascially holding my hand in the process for a bit, was nice. As we started to leave, I patted my wife on the leg and said, thanks for coming (I bought her the tickets for our anniversary) but didn't throw out the anniversary part. She didn't really say much back. Later as we walked for 5-10mins to the car, I asked her if she had a good time and she said ya. Drove home with the radio on, don't think we said much if anything to each other.
Came home, changed into my PJs, came out and my wife was laying in the master bed, waiting for me to change in the master bath so she could do the same no doubt, I told her I was going to bed and goodnight, she said goodnight.
Overall a good day, lots of quality positive time spent with my wife and kids. Our one bit of bickering was stopped by her, even tho' she had to throw out the "this marriage sucks" I guess it is positive that she mentioned "marriage" like there still is one. I didn't carry on about anything, stood up for myself a bit and think I got over the negative interaction fairly well instead of getting quiet and putting off "negative energy" around her like I would have in the past for awhile.
Tomorrow (4th of July) I told my wife my church is having a family picnic, if she and the kids want to go, I said I'd be going for a bit whether anyone else wanted to go or not, she said she'd think about it. My wife also mentioned wanting to go golfing after our time at the golf club today at lunch, plus wanting to go innertubing on the river. She says the kids never want to do anything, I told her to forget them then, we can go. So might have some other fun things to do with her Thursday/Friday. One other conversation we had was at the vet while waiting in the exam room. My wife has mentioned a couple times how she has to met with our ex-SIL on Thursday morning to co-sign for some loan he is getting to pay off his credit cards. His credit is screwed from all the crap surrounding his and our daughter's finances and divorce. My wife said she is done paying anything for our daughter and that I'd better not tell her that she is helping out D23's ex-husband or she'd have a fit. I said something to me wife about "protecting herself from ex-SIL not making the payments on the loan with her on it..." and got interrupted with "I've been trying to protect myself and all I get called is a selfish b1tch!!!" and some other ramblings. I just shut up and listened to her spew, while thinking "protect herself... from what?" Anyhow I finished my thought a little while later, told her that she was better off paying off his credit card and him making payments to her because the way he is doing it she'll have to worry every month for who knows how many years about whether he actually made the payment. She said "do I have $6000 to pay off the credit card" and I told her no, she said "neither do I" which is a fat lie, she doesn't have it in her "master plan" for hording money, but she has at least $60k in her saving account, most likely more. She also started ranting about never paying for anything for D23 again and how she only has 5 yrs until S13 is 18 and "then no more payments for him either..." She is so obsessed with money and not having to support anyone or pay for anything she doesn't want to pay for, she is so sick... She mentioned how all her brothers and sisters have a "problem child" and she named her sibling off and their problem kids. I asked if it was all the oldest kids and she said "yeah, almost all girls too." But she said she has "woke up" and she is done with her problem child, that she drove her crazy and she couldn't deal with D23's drama anymore. Oh, also I got a VM from D23 with a sad sounding message about wanting to know "what options she has for health insurance since the school wants $620 for health insurance and she didn't know if she had other, cheaper options...(hint, hint, dad)."
was very sad!