Don't know really why I am having a bad day. I am just feeling si fed up about it all and wondering why H just couldn't have kept his d!@k in his trousers.
Some days my brain just feels like its going to melt down or my head will start spinning and explode!! I keep fantasising that hypnosis might be good and that I could be hypnotised so that I could forget about it all.
One of the things I am struggling with is socialising with our old friends, (Married couples). When my H was in hios really pissed off phase with me he use to tell me that all our friends thought that I was mad and that he was a saint to put up with me. NOw he tells me that that wan't true and he just made it up to hurt me but I don't know what to believe and find that I don't want to see the friends we knew before as I don't know whether I can trust them or not. I have tried a few times to get together with them as I know it means a lot to my H but I end up having to get doped up on valium to be able to get through the evening. I just want to get back to normal and not feel like such a freak and that everyone is talking about me. Deep down inside I want to run away and start afresh somewhere else.
I have days where I just don't know which way to turn.
Sorry for being so wet and gloomy
Saffie
and thanks for the hugs - they mean a lot
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
NOw he tells me that that wan't true and he just made it up to hurt me but I don't know what to believe and find that I don't want to see the friends we knew before as I don't know whether I can trust them or not. I have tried a few times to get together with them as I know it means a lot to my H but I end up having to get doped up on valium to be able to get through the evening. I just want to get back to normal and not feel like such a freak and that everyone is talking about me. Deep down inside I want to run away and start afresh somewhere else.
