To MikeinMidland: I hope you come over to my thread if my M heads towards D...I think your advice is excellent.
Em...Mike is right on. Remember I said to chuck out some stuff and hold to other phrases? Chuck out the 'babysteps' and maybe she is coming back by being nice. I side with Mike on this.
Continue to be strong. You're doing great now by just listening. It's hard to do...for me now also...to just look at your W and say....just "OK"...or..."I understand"..or just look at her and say nothing. Sometimes, I think, the more we talk at this point, the worse it is.
At the beginnning of my sitch, my DB coach here told me to keep all financial things SEPARATE from the M (my W was trying to get me to cosign a loan against our house for $100K to buy the salon she workes at). Follow Mike's advice...let your L's work out the details for you. Stay calm. Stay above board. Don't get dragged into any anger/D/old stuff arguments.
I liked your response about the 'old M', however, be careful to stay away from the 'new me' things..it can come across as trying to sell yourself. Just let the 'new you' show. Bottom line, if you..or I....have the less than 5% chance of pulling a gamewinning homer in the bottom of the ninth, you have to stay the course until it's over, and YOU remember what Yogi used to say.
Strength and honor.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
