welcome to my nightmare #3

[Dr LOve]

Thanks Saffie.
Didn't sleep very well last night. I was having pains in my leg. I took some aspirin and it seems to have gone away. I may refill my meds Monday but I need to remember IT”S ONLY FOR PAIN. Well see. Yes I do know blood is thicker than a marriage license but I have had talks in the past with W sister and Cousin about my W moods. They both know I have been strong in our relationship. They both know my W is not a happy person. My W is a moody person. (They have told me in the past they don’t know how I put up with it)This is where I think my sitch is starting to change from others here. I think my wife is not happy. I do not think she knows why. I don’t think she found it in the OM or she would have been gone by now. She is very selfish and I think my GAL is starting to make her think I am not a door mat and can find happiness else where when push comes to shove. You see saffie, my marriage vows meant allot to me. I could and would have lived with out sex, hugging and the ILU’s. If my W was sick. (Physically or mentally). I am not being sarcastic. But that is what I signed up for. If my W was in a coma is the hospital for years it would not make a difference I would be loyal. But…. This OM I believe took advantage of the sitch. I don’t know if you have followed my thread but he used to go out with my W while he was dating another. He married the other and really hurt my W. even after he married he still pursued my W until we got married.
So now my W was feeling low and very vulnerable and he swooped in and took advantage of the sitch. This is part of the reason I would like to contact him. NOT because I want to kick his a@@ but because I would just like to tell him he must be very proud of his actions. And I bet his wife is too.
So now here I am this is what I think:

1. W is unhappy
2. W does not know why she is unhappy
3. W is not unhappy with me.
4. W does not think leaving for OM will make her happy
5. W thinks I will always be there for her no matter what... ( my fault I have told her this constantly)
6. W not thinking “out side the box” (what her actions can cause).


What I don’t know:

1. Can I not worry about the OM
2. Can I pursue female companionship Without getting emotionally involved
3. Will I GAL make the W feel she is not wanted and push her farther into depression?
4. Do I need to pursue W ie. Love letters, hugs kisses to make her feel wanted.
5. Will I ever win the lottery


So where do I go from here? It’s a slippery slope I am about to climb. Saturday I asked her out to dinner and dancing. She said dinner would be fine but didn’t feel like going dancing. Fine I am going out to dinner, going to let the conversation flow and take her lead.
After dinner I will take her home and then tell her that I am sorry she does not feel like going dancing tonight but I do so I will see ya later.

I am and will be there to help her but she needs to get to a point where she needs to ask for my help. Andyv is so right that I have been distancing and pursuing at the same time.

So Saffie what part of the UK do you live? The Cousin’s husband has relatives in England and will be going there on the 10th of July?



Husband