It is better that you made it over here to newcomers. You will receive more traffic on your thread. Also, another way to gain more responses is to read other people's threads and respond to them. Even if you do not think you have any good advice to offer, supportive comments also help and they will likely return the favor.
As far as your son-I feel terrible that you have found yourself in this situation. But you are lucky to have him and make sure that he knows how much you love him. He must be a very smart kid and you should be a proud father. I do not have any kids at this point so I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be separated from him. I just hope things turn around quickly for you.
The brother in law is not helping the situation any. Unfortunately there is not much you can do about it. I have what I suspect is a bad influence on my W in a female friend from her work, but there is not much I can do about it.
On the anniversary issue, I would try and act as normal as possible. If you were going to cook dinner for her before the bomb, I think you should stick to the regular plan. Just try to avoid emotions. Keep the conversation light hearted and steer clear of Relationship talk.
I would also offer a word of caution. Although you are angry at your wife for her most recent actions, I would be careful about doing anything that is going to push her further away. I guess my advice is to evaluate what you are trying to do in this situation. Do you want to work things out with her? If so, if she is willing to come back to the house, I would not send her away. I think you are right in avoiding anything that is going to lead to a fight. I would continue working on yourself, changing those things that she expressed to you as being problems and let things develop. Patience is the key now.
Where is your wife staying right now? Where is your son staying? If he is not at home, how often do you get to see your son?
