I am in a not quite same situation but similar. My husband who has moved out and wants to sell the house first and then divorce. This is nuts. I live in a midwest community property state and the house is in both our names, not to mention almost paid for. If you don't want to divorce, as I don't, why would you help her move the process forward by putting the house up for sale and you filing for a separtion? This is the 3rd time my husband has moved out in the last 3-4 years. I am in the house and I said I am not taking out a home equity loan ( to pay for the lawyers) or am I putting the house up for sale. This can be a last step not a first. As I have had my spouse move out 3 times in last few years and I have been going to counseling alone and with him I have been down this road but never did mine want to sell our house. I in the past have said that's it I'll file and that is a mistake. You want to buy time. I also think that your wife may need a reality check. Lay out to her financially what a divorce would look like and don't make it look good. She may not be able to afford a condo. Control is a 2 way street with money. My spouse made the money and handles our investments, I did the day to day and house and he really didn't have the stress of paying everything and having the money there. My therapist in this round of my spouse moving out ( this is the 3rd time in 4 years) wants both of us to feel and taste what a divorce would look like. Now it may be that your wife has her own income and could afford it but DO NOT help her divorce you. Slow it down. I am not too cooperative in helping my husband divorce me. He has asked for what I want in financial and property settlements, I sent him a list and keep telling him that all this needs to be done later with attorneys. He also thinks we are going to just sit down with a mediator and everything will just go along and I will agree and we will divorce. I told him that is when both want to divorce, he wants a divorce not me. No others in this relationship, no children like you either. The one that wants a divorce lives in a dream world and sometimes needs a reality check. Don't help her divorce you, let her do the work. Maybe tell her I don't want to the sell the house unless I am absolutely certain that is what I want.
Have you asked her to go to counseling? Have you considered going alone? I think it can really help, I have been going alone for a long time and it was my therapists suggestion he move out the first time. I took him back too soon both times...Hope this helps, mine is really stuck right now in his apartment a crummy one, the same the one he rented 3 years ago. My life is the Groundhog movie...
