Thanks to all my friends here

[brueniap]

ok IMP - I hear you.

[SvenTheRed]

Hi Lisa!

First, I know your guard is up...keep it that way...you deserve the best, and I won't lie - since you have been on this board since right around the time I joined - it sort of p'd me off to see B manipulating again. I mean, I won't say he isn't sincere, I just ask that you go slow...okay dear?

The baby is beautiful (along with your other handsome kids) and I'll keep my comments about you being a looker to myself...I'm married you know

So,

He wants us back- I am putting the delay on that and am still working with my lawyer. Just in case.

You get it...be well.

Sven

[LisaLost]

Guys ,

you can be more than sure that all of this will be in my control. I am not going through this crap again. When he came home before we had had many months of talking etc.. then we went on a trip and BAM he was home,I was not prepared but too scared to say anything b/c i didn't want him to run off back to ow or whatever. This time is different. I didn't mind dinner with him- It shows him how I am and how strong I can be. He is the father of my children so I want him to get help- He is going to try to repair R's with his parents but his mother is truly a fruit cake(trust me on this) and his father was a raging alcoholic he has since gotten help for that but still is not so much a family man with his older kids the only one he spends time with is his 19 y/o that he has with my H's stepmom.

Trust me I am no idiot when it comes to this I may have lost my head a few times but I have got it together much better now. IF this marriage is to be saved then it is a long road ahead and he knows that. I doubt his sincerity a little , I think he loves us and missing his family but is looking for a quick fix I.E. us getting back together like yesterday- NOT GOING TO HAPPEN- The work comes first.

I am taking it slow

To those who checked out myspace thanks for the compliments on my babies, I think they are beautiful too.

Love,lisa

[LisaLost]

Brue and 25,

I see what you guys are saying, I am treading carefully- I think family outings are ok-they see us getting along but no kissing or anything like that. I think it is better for them they have been happier and I have spoken with them about people making mistakes and how we learn and how we react and forgiveness and such and also letting them know that their daddy and I are going to do whatever it takes to make sure they know they are loved and Even if we don't end up together we have to deal with each other for a long time- might as well be friendly.

We'll see where therapy and anger management get him


Thanks guys!!

Love,Lisa

[forward]

Lisa, You sound strong. I'm glad for you, whatever happens.

I wish my H would take some responsibility for his actions. His T is out of the country; I have some hope that he will actually return to that T.

[ACJ]

Lisa,
I just caught up with your thread. I'm so glad to hear you sounding stronger and in control. I really hope that this time B will follow through on his promises. Like Nicola I think it is a good idea to keep working with your L until you reach a point where B has proved that he means business and it is no longer just words.

I'm on the receiving end of D right now so find it hard to encourage anyone to to be the instigator but in your case I think you are doing the right thing.

[Was2sad]

Lisa

So great to see you taking such a careful approach to what may come next. You are NOT the same person that spent so much time worrying about the skank OW, or what H was doing, or what you could do to get him to notice you ... although I admit missing some of those hottt updates.

You are so absolutely going to be ok, because you are so focused on what is most important. It is never easy to take the high road, yet you persist. Awesome. You could write such a different story now for newbies ... "How to save yourself from drowning in the mlc whirlpool, and if the WAS survives ~ ok"

Bless you and the kids ... and I do pray your H finally gets it soon before he is too late.

[LisaLost]

hey everyone!

been awhile since I have posted. I always come to read the posts-I hate seeing the ones. Anyway, H still wants us to work on our M. He is still seeing his T and I will go in with him next week. He is not living with me as I am not ready for this yet. As I have said I am not doing this again with him so I want all the issues brought out and worked on before we settle back in. We have spent some time together as a family and things have been good. We went to St. Augustine for the 4th of July with all of the kids besides our 9 y/o he is in Miami visiting family. That went great! We just got back from Tampa where we took the kids to Busch Gardens. Also everthing went smooth there too. I still am in contact with the lawyers I am not pushing too hard but I am not letting go of them either. I hate to sound so negative about it when everything is looking up but I have to be careful. He doensn't see all the stressing I do about this - He sees me bring upbeat and confident- He sees me telling him and SHOWING HIM- that I am serious about my emotional well being as well as the kid's and that he needs to get his crap staight and keep it that way if he wants to be with us. I have my issues that I am working on, as always I am a work in progress. I always get great advice from here and always get some good things to think about- You guys are so great even when slinging the 2x4's- I have learned so much from you guys and i really don't think i would be where I am with out Michelle's books and this board.

I don't think that my H was fully out of whatever was turning him into the alien the first time around. A bit of a MLC I do think- but I am going to make sure we work through it and get to a better place this time.

thanks- I will post more later- I hope you guys will throw out any opinions, advice or whatever.

W2S- I was wondering when you were going to stop by!!

Love,Lisa

[brandnewday]

Just don't lose yourself in his problems.
You are doing so well and i am very proud of your progress.

(((((hugs)))))

[LisaLost]

Yes, BND- Thank you I have a habit of doing that so I really appreciate the reminder. I get so involved with 'HIS' issues. I need to remember to let him do it for himself.

Love,Lisa