Help me here LBS's...what is going on? Why is he turning cold and bitter all of a sudden?
Not to justify, but I would suspect he is scared and hurt, and that is what is behind his actions. Not that that makes it any easier to deal with or right, but he is probably lashing out because he feels lost. I would say explore this with your C next session. If s/he is any good, they should be able to guide you in a way that lets him explain to you (and more importantly to him, because most of us men do not understand our own emotions at all because we've been taught to bury and deny them) what he is really feeling and you can explain to him how that makes you feel and how it is pushing you further away.
I'm sorry it is so hard for you. I do understand what you are saying about how this affects you, and it makes sense to me how it makes you.
If you were being completely honest with each other, and you had no reason not to tell him exactly what you thought and felt, what advice would you give him to maximize the chances that you two could stay married and build the relationship that you think you both deserve? If you were not his WAW, but rather is R coach, why steps would you outline for him to take or what things would you tell him to keep in mind. Thinking about this migh help you coach him if the opportunity arises.
Would it be possible for you to meet with your MC alone, tell him/her where you are at, see if s/he knows about DR, and then have C meet with H alone and impress upon him that he has one shot and that he needs to get past his emotions, confusion and blame and get to work finding solutions while giving you the time and space you need?
Hugs, Nomopo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
