Wow~
You are sure are going thru some stuff honey. Hopefully Sven can give you some advice.

This did stick out to me..
Quote:
She knows now for sure, she can't let her guard down around me.


Sure she thinks she knows that,,, you are not the demon she makes you out to be. I also suffered sexual abuse and yes for me too it was like...
" dont let anybody in, ALI keep the wall up real tight ALI and reinforce it everyday ALI cause you will get hurt, DO NOT TRUST or let anyone see who you really are do not be vulnerable...

SAD part is when you never let anyone in you never really feel loved. But first she has to love herself honey. And that will take loads of work on her part. You can love her til you are blue in the face . But until she sees she is worthy of receiving love it just isnt going to click.

I am not a IC, but I was in IC for 3 years to get well. When I was only 19 years old! \:\( It takes a lot of work,,
it will take her alot of work to heal~

( it took me a lot of work and I still struggle with feeling good enough some 17 yeras later~)

TY, sure you helped lay out the M problems but the demons She has to get rid of on her own....


For me personally it has taken every ounce of will to love me and accept me and then accept the love my H gives. As much as I want him to love me .

I STILL have my moments WHENI feel like I do not deserve it. CRAZY huh? YUCK!

They way I always used to think of it was "how can he really love me? Noone ever did and noone ever protected me,, how can I allow myself to trust this love? He is just going to hurt me ...." And I was 25 when I met my H, those demons should have been long gone!

Make any sense?
I hope so. Stay strong and keep finding the you that is under
all this hurt. YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS~ \:\)
Love, Ali