JDK, Good for you, attending a marriage group session. I learned a lot about myself and my expectations at a marriage seminar, even though I attended alone. LOL. W suddenly came down with a migraine and couldn't attend. Yup Yup.
I still learned and it was a 180 for me to go to something like that without her.
One thing in your post I would be careful regarding, the $ spent on the kids.
1) It's borderline whining/complaining.
2) My W loved to pass along those little tidbits to my kids so they would know how much "Dad doesn't want to do this because it's costing him money..." but mom "made it happen".
Hmmmm. I learned quickly that what was formerly a conversation between myself and someone that was partnered with me in paying the bills, investing and saving for our future was now none of those things and would use those same conversations now to point out how I was a controlling tightwad.
I learned from reading and studying the materials mentioned on these forums that any complaint, no matter how legit, would be seen as just that, complaining.
