What am I afraid of? Not much anymore. I have Obligation feelings, big time.
Worst thing that could happen is spending a lot of money on lawyers leaving the M, me finding a super woman then finding I still didn't have my sh!t together. Or finding what I left?
I have a belief that I have to fix some things within myself before I can be a good partner to someone else. I have to judge/evaluate/guage/size-up new people better than I have in the past.
Right now the R building experience I am learning to use more proficiently is like a self taught auto mechanics class. I practice on my old car I already own. When I attempt a repair and it doesn’t work as I would like, I do it over again. some attempted repairs lead to better operating conditions. Some repairs, well they just suck.
If I can get this car/M running better, great. If not, look at how much better a mechanic I will be if I ever have a new car.
I don't want to be going through a bunch of cars till I find just the right one. A male version of the baby bear in the "Three bears Story, I am not.
I am more of you bought it, you keep it running, you fix it. Re-does are a last resort option.
