All she will say is "What if it doesn't work? I can't 'do this' again!" meaning, be in this place again where Choc. says "I will no longer live in a sex-less, affection-less marriage. I have called her on it 3 years ago and 5 years ago and several times before that, each without any real sustainable improvement from her, and I think she's just tired of having a mirror held up to her own issues.
Well, in all fairness Choco, this has more to do with BOTH of your issues, the marital issues, the way you are TOGETHER. Look, I know how she feels. It feels good to around people that make you feel good about yourself. She is neck deep in it and can't think of a way to go back to where she was before. In all fairnness, why should she? Why should you? Were you happy? I'm not saying don't fight for the M. I'm just saying she has valid points (beyond the A) that have to do with YOUR R and M. My H and I still have tons of cr*p to deal with in our M and lots of it STILL has to so with the sexual disconnect. Some days I think, wtf am I doing? Other days it's not so bad. Your W is ONLY thinking of a way out right now. There is nothing you can do to change her mind. She needs to figure it out herself. Thus, the whole DETACHMENT approach. I know you are not ready for that now but it may be headed in that direction. Let her flounder around in the real world for a while and make her own way. She needs to do that. Holding on tight is just not going to help it seems. I may be wrong but that seemed to be the best approach with my H. He wanted to reconcile when I detached. And not a minute before. But maybe it is differnt in your M. Only you will know for sure. It's going to be a long road either way. And sometimes it seems like the road is never going to end. LFL
