I am not a possession, filling these roles, because you hired me to do so. I am a person first, with my own wants and needs, and I've agreed to do these things WITH you, not FOR you. It's a subtle difference, but a critical difference
Thats a very good point very well put. I think this is central to much pain that goes on in relationships. A lack of seeing (and accepting) others as subjects or agents of their own choice and will.
In TALs case it sounds like her husband doesn't connect to her as a person but expects that she will play the part of sexual performer regardless of what she her self wants. It's sex fueled by the ideals of porn reducing sex to physically "getting off".
