BB wants a man that wants to be her dog’s daddy and her protector, Mr. Neat, tidy, and a foot/back/hair rubber. BB wants me to lead, but in her direction of interests. Guess I am in a lost M?
I don't know about that. I see a lot of assumptions there, based on part truth, and part projection. I'd spend more time exploring if you actually have a true and accurate assessment.
Quote:
you are MY wife (yes and I am her H) MY sex partner (MY only and special sex partner. I don’t want to share me or you with anyone else) MY cook ( no but W does her area-H does his area SAHM M) MY cleaner ( no but W does her area-H does his area SAHM M and I am not picky about food or cleaning.
Well, the way I looked at it was... I am not a possession, filling these roles, because you hired me to do so. I am a person first, with my own wants and needs, and I've agreed to do these things WITH you, not FOR you. It's a subtle difference, but a critical difference. One falls under the "Book of Should Be's," the other falls into the realm of independence within a defined area. I am free to make choices, and be me, express me, in MY ways, based upon the boundaries we decided TOGETHER. And I extend those same freedoms and guidelines to my H. I fulfill these roles, because I agreed to do so, not because you expect it of me... not because you define HOW I will meet those roles. That is my decision. As it is your decision HOW you will meet the roles you agreed to take on.
But I think people mainly do this in unconscious ways... which leaves the other person open to thinking they can step in and tell you how to do your part of it... and it leaves the other person in the position of drawing a loving, but firm boundary in telling you... no, I'm my own person first. There are always boundaries within boundaries...
We all get the boundary of marriage, but we seldom spend time constructing the boundaries within a marriage. I know I didn't.
