Corri, BB feels some of the things you said in your post. I wasn't my own person. There wasn't anything there to have a relationship WITH, for anything that was unique about me, as a person, fell to the vision he had of what I should have been. Especially the I wasn't my own person.
Well I felt I had to direct the family activities. Is that controlling or leading? When I didn’t lead, that is when she lost a lot of respect for me. Throw in some co-dependency hype and some W’s mentally check out of a portion of the M.
I felt I was responsible for everyone's welfare. I felt I had a husbandly job to do and BB had a wifely job to do. According to the co-dependency guru’s that is bad for a M, or at least harmful to many females.
you are MY wife (yes and I am her H) MY sex partner (MY only and special sex partner. I don’t want to share me or you with anyone else) MY cook ( no but W does her area-H does his area SAHM M) MY cleaner ( no but W does her area-H does his area SAHM M and I am not picky about food or cleaning.
Unless your wife regains her respect and attraction for the man that you are, not the man your job description defines... that great something from your R will always stay lost. IMHO BB wants a man that wants to be her dog’s daddy and her protector, Mr. Neat, tidy, and a foot/back/hair rubber. BB wants me to lead, but in her direction of interests. Guess I am in a lost M?
Maybe I better be working on the respect and attraction aspect more than trying to please BB.
