My H was never one to openly talk to me. The only time I could get him to let me know how he felt about something is to get him mad. I know that isn't the way to do things but it was all I had. Even after he left I would make him mad just to get him to open up.
Everyone told me to give my H an ultimatum but I couldn't. I was not ready for the answer I knew I would get. If I had done that, he would have run fast, filed for the divorce and everything. He wouldn't have had a chance to work through his MLC. It can take many years to work through that. I have read a lot on the subject. I understand it now. I see things in him that tells me that he is in MLC. I would have never thought it until I read the books.
God has plans for each of us. I am just waiting to see what his plans are for me. I could have strayed once H left but I haven't. He could have strayed but he hasn't. In our minds, we are still married. In our (his more than me) hearts, we are trying to find the love we once had. It took time for him to build that wall around his heart and it will take time for me to knock it down.
Not everyone can commit themselves to stand. As I have said, I will stand until I am ready to let go. My heart will tell me when enough is enough. Right now, I love my H more every day. Every time he does something nice for me I love him even more.
For him to give me that special ring for mothers day (supposedly from the kids), means more to me than anything else. He has not said anything about me still wearing my rings. He has not said anything about my myspace that has his picture plastered on it. It is the little things that keep me going. One day I am going to come on here and tell you all that he is coming home. I just don't know when that day is.
