Things have been much better, but H had an individual session Monday and things have been tense ever since. Today, I told him I was tired of walking on eggshells. He sarcastically said he didn't think I was. Here is an email I sent to a few girlfriends asking for support. Just a way for me to summarize. Thanks, everyone. Is there an end to this??
I need some support. I don't know what exactly to say except that Joey is putting me through the ringer again and I about can't take anymore. A simple phone call turned into a big discussion. I said I was tired of walking on eggshells since his individual session Monday night. He sarcastically stated that he didn't think I was and it went up from there.
I asked him how it was ok when we went to Peru, got married, had our children, etc. And he hung up on me. He called back to say not to ever talk to him at work (not my intent, I told him) and he would hang up on me every time if I tried. I was completely calm the whole time. He said the "answer to my question was that he shouldn't have." He says I dumped him, cheated on him and only thought about myself and he was sitting there like a chump to take me back and he shouldn't have, so now he has to rectify that with himself. I said yes, you do. He sarcastically said, "Don't back me into a corner, if you're gonna push me, that's what I'll have to do!" I said, "How am I pushing you? You should be proud to have me for a wife." He said, "I'd be a lot more proud to have you for my wife if you hadn't done what you did. You had your fun - you got exactly what you wanted and didn't give a [censored] about me."
He hung up on me shortly after. I expect tonight will be a real delight.
Please give me some positive words. I'm just trying not to cry around my kids and don't know what to do anymore.
This was spawned from me interrupting him when he said I "dumped him and cheated on him" and I interrupted him and said, "I broke up with you because I thought it was the best thing and I stuck by my guns, because I thought it was the best thing. I won't let you call it cheating." That's when he hung up on me the second time.
Ok, so I have decided that we are broken up as of now. You don't get any say in the matter, it's just what I think is best for us/me. So if I go out and [censored] someone, I guess it won't be cheating since we are broken up. Right? Convenient. Don't call me at work and bring up this [censored]. I am working and can't be bother to deal with this [censored]. If you want to help fix things, don't put all the blame on me and [censored] step up and accept your contributions to this whole [censored] pile. Don't pawn off the counseling on me 'cause I'm the only one who needs it. Don't email me.
He would be so furious if he knew I was sharing this stuff with you guys, but I am feeling so ... helpless, I don't know what to say or do anymore.
I did not call you to discuss this. I called you to fill you in on our 4-year old chewing on furniture. Then you shared with me a personal matter - the tattoo artist emailing you. When I asked if it was a positive or negative email, you treated me like an ignorant piece of [censored]. I accepted your cold attitude Mon and Tue, but simply told you I did not appreciate having to walk on eggshells. I even said "That is all I have to say." YOU continued the conversation. Quit rewriting scenarios to support your side of things.
One last bit of info. He said that in the session, the therapist asked him lots of details about the past. She then tried to get him to see things from my side of the situation, i.e. my mom was not around, my dad was preoccupied with his new girlfriend, I had self-esteem issues, etc. He said he stopped her and said he saw what she was trying to do, but he had no sympathy. He didn't care what the "reasons" were.
