I think cobra's point is that at this point how can Mrs. choc "save face"? Is her only way back into the marriage to grovel and be contrite and agree 100% that she is totally at fault and the scum of the earth?
Lillie, I admitted my faults in our marriage early on in this -- way back on "We Need To Talk" D-day, mid-May. Also a week or so after that. I have asked for her forgiveness for my sins of pride, of neglect, and of hurtful thoughts that she didn't even know I was thinking, and for failing to be the leader that she needed. She forgave me.
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Can you be that rescue in some way that preserves some shred of dignity for her and yet doesn't compromise your beliefs and principles?
That is PRECISELY what I'm trying to do, and to be. A "safe passage" back to a loving home and a loving marriage. That is the whole concept behind an approach where I DO stay in the same house with her -- so she can see that I'm still a great dad, and a great guy, and good husband material, and that I'm ready to forgive her. I have told her that I'm ready, but forgiveness has to come with repentance, and so far she has refused to turn away from her destructive behavior. So all I can do is be here and be ready to catch her when she falls.
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Of course, I also understand that you're not sure you still want the M. Is there anything about her right now that you can genuinely respect admire and use this molecule of connection to draw her back in?
That's a great question, Lillie, and I have to admit that it's getting harder and harder every day to see anything. I'm rapidly losing what's left of my love for her. If something doesn't break soon, it may be too late.
