Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
#1112536 06/27/07 08:02 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
G
GK99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
Locked my own thread...is that good or bad luck?

Old Thread


M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2
Together: 9 years Married: May 2005
Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
G
GK99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
Over the past several weeks I have been trying to decide if I want to move back to my hometown or stay here in the city I've called home for the past 8 years. I am at the point where I think I want to move back home. I keep weighing the pros and cons and each time, moving seems to win out. The one thing that makes me hesitate is that I feel like moving will be the equivalent of giving up on my M. But I am becoming more at peace with that each day.

There are a lot of logistical things to sort out before I move, so it won't likely be for a couple of months. I am flying out there this weekend for a couple of weeks - partly to scout things out, but mainly to relax with friends and family.

I am thinking about taking the cats with me and leaving them with my parents while I begin the process of moving. The airlines in Canada are changing the ways in which you can travel with pets starting next month so it will be much more difficult to fly them out at a later date.

I am just wondering if this is something I should run by W before I commit to it. She has agreed to let me have the cats but moving them without informing her seems sneaky. What do you guys think??


M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2
Together: 9 years Married: May 2005
Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,345
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,345
GK,

Based on what you are saying, it doesn't seem like you should move the cats right now. You are not sure what you want. You are going on a scouting mission. You will not being leaving for a couple of months if you do go.

As for your W, she said you can have them, so you make the decisions. If you had children, the advise would be different.

Leave the cats where they are. Deal with relocating them when the time comes.

IMP

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 794
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 794
Hi GK,
I agree with IMP about the cats. If you did decide to move home, you would still have a lot to do...i.e. sell the house, etc. so rushing to remove the cats at this time might be rushing it a bit. It may not be good for the cats either to dump them in your mom's house without you \:\) They would miss you

UB

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
G
GK99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
Thanks IMP and UB. I guess I'm trying to kill 2 birds with one stone since I wouldn't have to worry about them while I'm away for 2 weeks if I took them with me. A friend has agreed to come and check on them every couple of days but there will be a stretch over the long weekend where it will be 3 days. Taking them with me will help me enjoy myself more (not worrying about them). Selling the house without the cats there would also be easier.

I could always bring them back with me in mid-July if things change or my plans are going to be held up for any reason. But as it stands now, I'm 95% sure that I'll be moving back.


M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2
Together: 9 years Married: May 2005
Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,345
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,345
GK,

One thing. You made the connection between moving and giving up on the marriage. The old marriage is over. Any marriage would be new. The best thing you can do is live the life you want to live. That will make you the person you want to be regardless of who may or may not be in that life. If it comes to pass that the marriage is to be saved, she will know where you are.

Good luck with your decision.

IMP

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
G
GK99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
Thanks IMP. Once again you've summed it up perfectly.


M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2
Together: 9 years Married: May 2005
Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,345
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,345
You're welcome, GK. And believe me, it was difficult to learn.

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,273
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,273
Hi GK!

Looked through your locked thread. Didn't see where W responded to your 2nd email. Anything yet?

I agree with IMP on the cats. I think it is good you are considering this move b/c if may be what YOU want.

Hugs to you! bambam


Me-BS 38
X-WS 36
Separated 11/15/2006
Filed for D 8/1/2007
Divorce Final 12/21/2007
S13, S13 (twins), D9
Married 13 Yrs
Together 20 Yrs


Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
G
GK99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 217
Hey Bambam...nothing from W yet - I bet her response will be worth the wait!

I decided to bring the cats with me. I will feel better knowing they are being looked after every day while I'm there. I can then either leave them with my parents or bring them back here in a couple of weeks. So the next question is...should I tell W I am taking them?


M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2
Together: 9 years Married: May 2005
Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
Page 1 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5