Although I have only posted here a few times, I have found the information to be a tremendous help. I am in the process of reading DR and find myself somewhat confused about how to proceed from here. I will try to be brief.
Stich: M 10+ yrs, one D by marriage (recent college graduate – wife was a single mother at an early age and had never previously been married). W dropped bomb on our 10-yr anni – 11/30/06. My family and our friends are shocked – she seemed to have so much together, we loved to entertain and did all kinds of things. W claimed there was no OM. I found emails to a guy in another part of the country. They were not of a romantic nature, but certainly a lot of information had been shared between them. He is of German decent and lives in NJ (we live in the Midwest). W evidently met him at a work-related trade show and they struck up a friendship. She claims they only communicate via email and she became intrigued with is use of the English language and sense of humor. In mid-January W came home at 3 am one Thursday after evidently spending time with an electrician she knew (W is white collar professional who sells products to industrial sector). We went to retrouvaie weekend after which time she told me that although I am her best friend, she “does not have that feeling of love for me.” W moved in with her sister in mid-Feb. We have essentially been together most weekends since getting house ready for sale, with many overnight stays. House closed last Friday.
I attribute the majority of our problems in our M to cc debt. W was laid off 2x earlier this decade, and her current position has not panned out. Our debt has largely contributed to a sense of hopelessness for her. Also, she claims that ever since D went to college, she has wanted to be on her own – the ‘empty nest’ syndrome. Sounds like MLC to me.
Now: W wants me to watch the cats this weekend (at her place) as she and her sister go out of town for a family reunion. I admit to recently having snooped and found calls to electrician. Also, I have been able to log onto her work email (she used the first name of the German in NJ as a password). She seems to email him at least weekly, and the emails are like those of a ‘giddy school girl’. She told me once that she thought he was married. Evidently she has also been taking German lessons online according to our D.
I do not call her, but she finds a reason to contact me almost daily at work. I am torn as to what to do now. I still hope for reconciliation. Should I meet her for lunch tomorrow (as previously planned) to get her key in order to watch the cats, or should I call and tell her I am busy and she should drop off at work.
