I respect your opinion, and appreciate your thorough post and your interest in my sitch. But the techniques I'm using, while contrarian to some, have been used successfully by tens of thousands of people to recover their marriages. Killing the affair, by whatever means necessary including confrontation and exposure, MUST be done first, and "ZERO CONTACT" with OM established, before the marriage can even BEGIN to enter the rebuilding stage.
She is an addict. She is addicted to OM. She cannot "manage" this affair, and like an alcoholic that goes into a bar and thinks he can have "just one or two drinks," she is on a destructive path that unfortunately is destroying not just herself, but me and her children as well.
All I am doing is reminding her of that fact, and being here as a safe path back to the marriage. She knows where I stand on the things that I'm willing to do in the way of allowing her to be independent, etc., if and when she chooses to end the affair.
