ok thanks. I just know he seemed bumed this past valentines when i did not give him a card but i sent him a freindly email one! I guess he was still waiting for a real card since i was always into giving heart felst cards but c'mon on Val day and your w/ OW??
Monday was my H's BDAY and I took that day and yesturday off work and I had a lot planned to get done. On Monday my car took half of the day to be worked on as my D10 and walked the mall while we waited. My H knew I had soem things to do and I guess misunderstood me thinking he could not come over after work b/c I had to do things. On his Bday I pondered all day if I should give him this (funny non pursuing)bday card and if I should at least call him and have the girls sign happy bday,but I decided not to. I thought oh well he had the girls over the weeknd and his new woman got him a cake on sunday and had the girls sing to him. I guess thats her job now so I did not bother. My H came over right after work yesturday and told me he was hurt b/c he did not receive a happy bday call or an email greeting (he is use to me doing this). I said aw, really? Yesturday I worked really hard on organinzing and getting rid of 7 bags full of toys that were broke or to give to salvation army. Finally the one project I had beeen meaning to accomplish was done and now their room looked so much neater and organized. I was getting really tired of H always making derogative comments abaout their room. I said if he were to make one more comment I was going to tell him he had no right to compalin unless he as going to do something about it and plus he does not live here anymore nad it's nothing to him. WHen H came in I was eating dinner and w/ out asking if he can have some asked if the girls had eaten and he should sat down w/ me and served himself! I was not mad but he normally asks or doesn't bother. As he was serving himself he said you know what? Beleive it or not I have missed your cooking!! I said really?? H use to put it down. H aslo must of forgot he said Ow cooking was even better than his! I said really you use to rave about her cooking. He said no I never said that. Oh well I left it at that. I could tell he must of been really hungry like he said b/c some of the ribs came out kinda dry (i am not the worl'd best cook but I am slowly learning,180). The girls were excited of how their room looked and told thier dad to come see thier room. My d10 said I should of seen the loook on his face and he said wow! this is nice I have wanted this for years!! Now I have organized their room before, but they just have so many toys!! It's really hard when the two little who share a room are really messy girls! I found out why my d7 couldn't fit anything more in her drawers! She had pulled all her winter clothes(she loves to try and wear in the summer) from the closet and put them in her drawers!!
Needless to say I got alot done on my two days off and H was impressed. H took his motorcycle and left his car at our house and said he hadn't drove it in a month. So I suppose he will be back tonight to pick up his car again.
Again before he left and after he kissed me on the forehead he then wanted me to miss his cheek and he said"happy bday to me"(ha ha). As he left he murmerd something about being hurt again and I told him " I figured you had plenty of happybdays thats why you have a woman in your life for and he made some whatever comment and gave me a look like he could care less.... Good maybe he got to thinking maybe he misses all the attention I use to give him on those special days, hmm maybe he actually realizes it now. It is coming close for his OW to move out into an apt closer to us and we will see if he moves in w/ her which he told me and the girls that he was not going to,but that could be another lie b/c I nknow he is not ready to move back in and he can't afford to be on how own. I wish he would move in w/ his dad rather than his GF.
wow! I took a test to see how much of a true narcisist my H is and out of 25 he scored 23 right on target!!! In reading the score results it said if your spouse has the following charasteristics: abuse,infedelity and anger w/out any signs of empathy to RUN!!! GOD I pray this is not true. It is true that after 10yrs of M it is now that he we r seperated that he is showing signs of empathy, true remorse and concern for our(kids & I) well beign.
ANYONE out there thier SO ever been dx w/ narcissim?????????
Again before he left and after he kissed me on the forehead he then wanted me to miss his cheek and he said"happy bday to me"(ha ha). As he left he murmerd something about being hurt again and I told him " I figured you had plenty of happybdays thats why you have a woman in your life for and he made some whatever comment and gave me a look like he could care less.... Good maybe he got to thinking maybe he misses all the attention I use to give him on those special days, hmm maybe he actually realizes it now.
All that this accomplished was making him feel like he making the right choice....sorry.
So if I had called him it wouldn't be pursuing?? I don't call him anymore for anything and I thought when I do need to call him he never answers esp. when he is w/ her. You men once told me if I kept doing all my "wifely" duties and he was also getting his needs met w/ OW then why would he leave her when he is getting everything from the both of us?? Now I am confused w/ this DB thing!I know as far as the sex goes he will not have us both! But why should I still go out of my way for his bday?
I know it's confusing which way to Chicki. Make him miss it or try to be there. Hard to tell the right path sometimes.
However, my feeling is, not acknowldeging his birthday is just mean. There are certain acts of kindness that just make us good people. Don't loose those.
Treat him more like a brother than a H. Would you get your brother a nice card and maybe a small gift or if nothing else a text or email wishing him a happy bday? Probably. To just ignore it all together just sends a signal of wanting to be mean to him. My 2 cents.
Actually, I did get him cards from all of us. I got him a card from each of the girls and one from me ,where he even said oh I got one from mommy?
When he sat down to eat I offered him more salad since I had almost finished it and I did not expect for him to eat my food. I will not wopship him like I use to though. My family acknowledges how I use put him up in a pedestal all the time. His needs caem first all the time and I would always tip toe around his moods so as not to make him angry-nope not anymore. I am enjoying the peace that surrounds my home now. I don't depise him ,but I realize I will definately survive without him. HEck I maybe better off. I am tired of accomadting his needs all the time and he still does not get the concept I use to tell him about that M is about compromise BOTH WAYS.
