I have read your posts and I am sorry you are here. I am on the other side of the coin...although there is no OM and I still willing to try and work on the M although I am feeling and saying alot of the same things as your wife. That I am confused, feel shutoff etc. We are about the same age and I know that me turning 30 soon is making me re-evaluate my life and where I want it to go. I just decided that I wasn't goingto continue to be unhappy anymore. But this happened to me over a number of years while begging for MC the whole time. DH just agreed since I said i was leaving him if he didn't.
I agree with the others that if she hasn't mentioned separating then maybe you shouldn't if you are still giving this your all. She will tell you if that is what she needs and you can take it from there.
As far as the family...I am having a real problem with mine and his giving us their 2 cents. I wish that everyone would mind their own business! If my DH was "conspiring" with my family at all I would take this a direct act of agression on his part and probably just file for the big D. I don't ever share any info with his family, its not my place. He can deal with his family and I will deal with mine. Families are tricky things and for the record my very traditional family thinks that the only two reasons for a woman to leave the M is abuse, physical or mental. unhappiness just isn't good enough and I have been told this in no uncertain terms by many family members. They do not approve of my current situation and my only saving grace with most of them is that we are in MC. But no doubt if it doesn't work I will be on the family shitlist forever.
Anyway, thats my nickels worth. I wish you the best and try to be patient with your wife. its wonderful that you are here and trying so hard, it speaks volumes about how much you must love her. I wish my DH cared half as much.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
