The fact you are starting to not let 'expectations' about what your wife is doing, or how your wife is acting hurt you as much as they used to. That is good.
And the fact your wife stopped seeing her counselor is not necessarily a bad thing. Her counselor didn't know you, or the facts of the relationship, just what your wife told the C. And your C would help clarify the feelings. "So it sounds like you are very unhappy with your relationship, etc"
My wifes counselor, told her "whats the worst that can happen, you leave your H, go and do this, and then realize you made a mistake and come back to your H and ask forgiveness. He then either takes you back or doesn't. Can you live with that?"
Sounds like a real marriage supporter. But you have to remember, your wifes C only hears what your wife is feeling "right now" and tries to help her work through the confusion. Unfortunately the confusion is the truth, the confusion is that little voice saying "this may be a mistake, we should work on the M"
