D Busted...Now Back Here

[OneWish]

You also have the right to expect her to start acting like an adult somewhere along the way, onewish.

It's not just your fault your marriage has been troubled.

Thanks AmyC. You are right, I know that she needs to start acting like an adult. I don't know why I let it bother me that she runs off and tells her family what a bad person, blah, blah. It is like they don't hold her accountable. I wish someone would just shake her and wake her up.

I like the idea of following up the apology with a letter about the future. I'm not sure what exactly you are apologizing for, but remember Retrouvaille says not to confess any new lapses that your spouse doesn't already know about. Yes, a sincere apology about the past is a necessary first step, then the hopes for the future is the next step.

Sara, I will need to apologizing for breaking trust with her. I went to lunch with my female supervisor, knowing how insecure she is and knowing she would be upset. The purpose of the sincere apology is to let her know that I made a mistake, I can't change the past. I can only learn from my mistake and never do it again. There is nothing new to confess. The way my wife approaches things is that she looks at our entire 11 year relationship, 5 years of being married and continues to complain about everything that I did in the past. She has never been willing to let go of the past. She tried especially with Retrouvaille, but when we argued, the past is the first thing that she would bring up. You are correct, I am apologizing in hopes that she will forgive me and hopefully work on our marriage together.