Wife had an affair with OW

[NeedSupport]

OK here is my story and I welcome any support and advise.

W and OW became good friends this March. OW is a married lesbian with a daughter. They became friends when my W was giving OW advice on how to best handle introducing LFs W to other colleagues, since not all knew she was gay. From there they seemed to have what I thought was a good friendship. My W was going out more and I thought she deserved it since most of her current LF are my friends wives.

The rollercoaster started (Three long weeks ago)when I came home early from work one day before she came home from an outing with one of her other LF. Once W came home she looked really surprised that I was there and immediately ran upstairs and called someone. She then proceeded as normal and said that she needed to go to work to clean her room out. W is a teacher. This was fishy since W couldnt even look me in the eyes when talking. I later went to her work and her car was nowhere to be found. Since the redial on the phone was the OW, I called letting OW know, via voicemail, that I needed to talk to my W urgently if she saw her. W did not call. At that time I couldnt believe what I was doing and even felt bad that I didnt trust her. When W got home, she stated that she went to the mall first to get a bathing suit before going to work. This made me feel terrible that I doubted her and it was just me being jealous.

Saturday she volunteered to work at a church festival with OW and a different colleague. During this night I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that she and OW had something more than a friendship. When she got home I mentioned what I was feeling and her story changed from shopping for a swimming suit to, W and OW going to the store to shop for a “secret” Fathers day gift. This REALLY made me feel bad. We talked all night and she convinced me that it was nothing.

Sunday was our DD's dance recital, the best and worse day of the weekend. That night is when we talked and cried all night long and she finally admitted to having an A which started off as an emotional one and then became sexual about a month ago. W states that she loves us both, however has since stated that it wasn't actually love with OW.

With me listening, she has since cut off the A and all comunications. I wish she would have actually told the OW that she loved me, but she says that she knows this already.

W wants to work on us but I didn't feel convinced until we spoke with her parents. Now I am not sure if she loves me or if she is doing it for the kids or to not disapoint her parents.

We have since attended out first counseling session. The only problem I had with this is right after we explained the situation, he went straight into "How can we work on my communication?" WTF...Shouldn't we go more into why this happened?

I need help! I really want this to work, but my mind is going in every direction. Is she a lesbien and does she still love this OW? It is hard to beleive her. I don't want to come from rock bottom and start climbing the ladder just to fall down again. We have been married 10 years and have two children 4&6.

Thanks and sorry if I went into too much detail, but I haven't been able to talk to anyone since our friends are mutual.

Additionally, I have been wanting to let the OWs W know of this, but I am afraid that I am just doing it for revenge.