Whats sad, funny, disturbing is that she says "now i know what not to do in the future." - meaning this new guy, this guy the flirted with, and made himself available to my wife when she was the most unhappy will get the benefit of her new 'kinder, gentler' self.
Well, no. He won't. See, SHE didn't change anything about herself. She just threw away the problems that couples encounter during a marriage and started a fantasy relationship with a fantasy person who 'has no problems'. IN the end, the same issues will show up, the same problems. And in fact, it is usually the case that the um, 'man' that she found is just as screwed up as she is. You see, 'nice men' don't go after married women who are vulnerable emotionally.
Predators do.
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Unfortunately he lives 3 hours away, so the long distance ideal of him can live on for some time, i've read that the inlove feeling for a long distance relationship can live on much longer. (it seems like everything is stacked against me)
Everything is not stacked against YOU. This has nothing to do with you, nor is it about 'winning ' or 'losing'. It's about growing up to be the best man you can be, and maybe, just maybe, she might grow up to become a woman you could actually spend the rest of your life with. Right now she isn't even CLOSE.
The long distance means HE isn't going to be hanging on very long to the fantasy. Why would he? I'm sure there are less messed up women where he lives. Right now his ego is getting a boost because she gives him the attention he, as a loser, craves.
MY W did the same thing. Others did to. If you think the OM was going to stay home to be 'faithful' or something, think again.
This is all a fantasy. Eventually the reality of who he really is will show through once the normal problems of relationships start to show up.
Maybe when she sees it, you'll still want her back.
